[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] writers_loft

A little snippet from the first section of prose in the Tal'verse. I have no idea if this is staying the way it is. It's a little rambling on purpose, to highlight how young he is, but also I feel like I'm not really getting where I need to with it. It seems to make sense to me, but I know the whole plot so I don't think that really counts. So it would be really helpful if you tell me what you got out of it so I can make sure it's working...


http://mercury-hall.livejournal.com/8688.html
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