Need crituque on prologue

[kxrxk.livejournal.com]

This is the prologue to My Novel, Imagine. I started writing this in the ninth grade as an attempt at a short story, and it just grew.
The one thing I would really like to know is: if you picked this up in the library, and read just this part, would you check it out and continue to read it? Why or why not. Any extra input is much appreciated.

prolouge

When I was five, I tried to jump out of a tree and fly like a bird. I broke five bones, hitting braches on the way down, and sprained both ankles so bad they still hurt. They hurt right now, bad, and in five months it will have been ten years.

When I was well enough to leave the hospital, they immediately put me in another hospital. Sunny Day Children's Hospital. But it wasn't a hospital, or even just an institute for crazy children. What it really was was a small building housing one of this world's six portals to Hell. There were other children, all with their problems, all sobbing or sullen or worse. I was only five, and still in pain from my leap, but the people there weren't satisfied. They wanted to bring me even more pain. The walls would move, windows would appear out of nowhere, and the real ones would disapear. Everytime I looked into someone's eyes they would turn black, or red, and their faces would smear until they were colorless blobs of moving form. I was terified, but they weren't satisfied with that either. I would cower in my room, refusing to leave, and they would come at me with hidden needle to "settle" my nerves, but all they did was make it worse.

I only saw Mother on a few occasions during my five years there. Father came about once a week. I didn't want to see her anyways. She was the reason I was there. I know she could have taken me home, if she'd wanted to. I know this because Dr. Jeckle told me recently. Dr. Jeckle's my doctor, and I still see him once a week. He's been treating me since it began.

When I turned ten Sunny Days was shut down. I still don't know the official reason. I was transfered to the Psychiatric Institute for Kids. What I'd thought was Hell at Sunny Days turned out to be nothing, because at PIK, they didn't just dose me when I was scared and screaming, they dosed me every day. Pills. Pills. Pills by the bucketful. They made me sick so that I threw up and stayed in bed all day sweating with a fever. They made me never want to eat again. They made me shake, and unable to concentrate. They made me soulless. They made everything bland. No color. No taste. They wanted to take away every possible stimuli for my episodes. But it didn't work. And when I started to scream, they didn't hide the needles.

I told Dr. Jeckle what the pills did, but he could do little to help. He wasn't my only doctor, and the one prescribing my meds had more power.

When I turned twelve, I was finally transferred to Harlom Mansion, where Dr. Jeckle could have full control over my mental life, where they preferred not to prescribe me actual drugs, and deemed able to live at home, though a room will always be kept vacant for me and my "Unstable Disease."

Mother wasn't happy, and I didn't have to wonder why. She didn't want anyone to know I was her failure. She enrolled me in a private school, Oak Crest Academy. I am failing. I have english, history, band, art, lunch, study hall, and math. They are all remedial courses. With special teachers, and suprisingly quite a few students. Either the staff is being duped or the world is getting dumber. I'm not dumb. I can't concentrate. I can't read correctly. The whole world is off balanced and I can't righten it.

And neither can they.

Comments

[13-tezcatlipoca.livejournal.com]

The first two sentences are great. Drew me right in and made me wonder. I found the second paragraph interesting as well. But then it kind of slides into infodump territory, and by the time we get around to "present" day, I'm not as interested as I was in the beginning. I'd probably continue reading though, at least another "page", to see where it was headed. So the short answer to your question is 'yes', with qualifications.