Kind of new ^^

[99-hearts.livejournal.com]

Hey all, I'm new to this community and haven't posted any stories here yet, so I look forward to receiving some constructive criticism on my first story (which I just wrote last week) its very short and will only take a few minutes of your time, so I will appreciate it if you take a quick look. It's fantasy and it's only 643 words.
Here