[LJ Story] Part 7 & mad plot bunnies?

[thorarosebird.livejournal.com]

I've posted part 7 of my story on my journal and would be very grateful if people could take a look... it's an conversation that reveals some backstory that will be important later on. But I tend to be heavy-handed with dialogue so if anyone could tell me how to improve and how to make this sound more natural... well, I will love you forever!

http://thorarosebird.livejournal.com/5534.html

Rating: PG
Genre: Fantasy
Length: approx 2000 words

And to make this more than an advertisement, I've been struggling to keep to one project for years, and it's even cropped up now. My question is, how do you deal with multiple, tantalising plot bunnies when you should be concentrating on one? Share your experiences and techniques with the pesky things. ^_^

thorarosebird

Comments

[polkadot-cat.livejournal.com]

Out of curiosity, why do you always just post links to your story, and never put the actual story behind a cut?

[thorarosebird.livejournal.com]

I prefer any comments to go to my journal entry so that when I edit or revise the parts later, all critique is in one place and I don't have to find all my posts in the comms trying to remember what people said.

If it's a problem I can post it here.

[thorarosebird.livejournal.com]

Although other people use fake cuts to their journals..?

[polkadot-cat.livejournal.com]

Then I'd have the same question for them. But you seem to do it the most often, since you're writing an ongoing story at a rather fast pace, so that's why I just asked you.

[thorarosebird.livejournal.com]

Sorry if it's noticeable. I'll be posting in the comm rather than linking in future. :)

[polkadot-cat.livejournal.com]

Don't you get an e-mail every time someone comments on a post you make, with the comment in it? So even if the comments are all over lj, you still have them in one place in your e-mail? You could even make a file in your e-mail specifically for comments.

I don't think it's a problem, I just think it's a bit odd to not put actual pieces on a writing community to get critique. I was wondering what the reason was.

[thorarosebird.livejournal.com]

Lol I'll see if I can try that.