http://shinoakkitenshi.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] shinoakkitenshi.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] writers_loft 2009-09-10 04:38 pm (UTC)

I enjoyed reading this. And Cara seeing the prince at the end. Makes me wonder what's going to happen emotionally. ^_~

One thing, (I've not read the other parts, should probably do that) if Cara is the only female in the story, you can use she instead of her name in the same paragraph. Having a characters name repeateded can irritate a reader. However some like it. It's really dependant on what you want.

I may have missed it in previous parts, but how big was the carraige? Was there really 16 or 17 people in that one carraige? Or was there more of them?

Otherwise it was easy to read and didn't feel bogged down. =) Good job!

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