http://starlight83.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] starlight83.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] writers_loft 2009-09-10 04:50 pm (UTC)

I haven't read the previous parts of this yet, so I don't have much to offer about plot or character or anything like that. But I did want to say that I think this has potential. There's a nice atmosphere to your writing. You have a sort of...friendly, easy-going narrative voice.

The one thing that gave me a moment's pause is the cow you have pulling a cart. Cows (meaning female cattle) are sometimes used for pulling carts, so the detail isn't wrong. But I think what you probably meant by "cow" was ox (meaning an adult steer). They're used a lot more commonly as draft animals than cows.

Granted, it's kind of a nitpicky detail since most people use the word cow to refer to any type of cattle. But it struck my farm-girl senses as just a touch odd, so I thought I'd mention it. :)

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