http://nontu.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] nontu.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] writers_loft 2009-11-08 01:36 am (UTC)


"Several months had passed and the bullying had already started. Lynnette would always get mad at me for some small reason from saying hi to one of my mutual friends or to forgetting to say hi to her at all.
I was sitting on the bus completely unaware of what was coming. I guess I did something wrong today because Lynnette came up to me with a mean look on her face."

More puzzlement on my part. Having your supposed friend act all jealous and high drama does not equal being bullied to most people. I'd like more detail, clarify what had already pushed it across the line from the relatively silly sounding 'she got mad because I paid attention to someone else' to her actually bullying you. Also, change "wrong today" to "wrong that day".

Reading through the rest of your story all the way to the end I'm still puzzled. This does not read like you were bullied. It reads like Lynette wasn't the best friend in the world and likely had problems, especially with the odd jealousy and such. But I don't see any abuse. At most it might qualify as bullying in the way she was using emotional manipulation, but you either need to really bring that point across more strongly or find another story to use as your focus. Alternatively stop thinking it is a book about bullying and refocus on writing a book about your childhood.

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