ext_347111 ([identity profile] sh-laine.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] writers_loft 2008-03-30 11:54 am (UTC)

I wouldn't begin with the image of the protagonist staring at himself in a mirror. Does anyone do that? I know I don't. Nonetheless, it's one of the standard beginnings of stories. It bores me and makes me roll my eyes.

I happen to like questions at the beginning of the story; your questions drew me in. But, why are you answering those questions right away? I would be more interested in a story about a man trying to find those answers than in an info dump. I couldn't get past the opening sentence of the second paragraph (But I already knew...).

Laine

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