Revised edition of chapter 1

[mystical-chickn.livejournal.com]

I completely changed the beginning of it (I didn't like how it begun anyway) and (hopefully) removed or changed all the repetitive stuff, as per teadoll's suggestions. Hopefully it's better this time around. EDIT: Chapter 2 is here: http://community.livejournal.com/writers_loft/61148.html

( Chapter 1, revised )

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Oh, BTW, if you want to know what Emyll, at least, looks like, imagine the black-haired chick who has the accent from the new Indiana Jones movie (I haven't seen it but she's in the trailer), except three and a half feet tall and with blue skin and wings, and that's EXACTLY what Emyll looks like.

Help with "first impresions"

[damaumbra.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm writing a series of short stories about a (all original) superhero team, and part of the "conflict" is how they relate with the media and the public opinion. Also, there's a undercurrent of misunderstanding in that the public perceives some interactions between some members of the group as something diferent that it realy is. 

I don't know if I'm making much sense, sorry, my maternal language is Spanish, not English. The thing is that I have problems getting the perception of the group correctly. I know what I want the public to believe, and I know the real relationship, but I'm afraid that when the time comes and what the public believes gets in the open, the readers will go "where did that come from?"

So, if you could help me telling me what would be your impresion about the group if you where there the first time the public sees them together, that would be helpful. Little background and excerpt of the story under the cut.

 ( Thanks for reading )