ext_110390 ([identity profile] orchard-mnt.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] writers_loft 2008-06-03 10:34 am (UTC)

I loved it. I loved the string of sparce dialog. You reminded us of the speakers name just often enough that I didn't have to go backa nd count, but not so much taht it became dull and repetitve. I'm alwats catching myself doing that, and fix it by adding about of overblow exposition about the setting, emotions, bird calls or something...

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