writers_loft | (no subject)

(no subject)

Hello there, new to the comm... I would like some critique/advice/anything on my latest project.
It's about... the excentric owner of an old antique shop. I've not gotten very far yet, I'm working on the introduction which is going to be a number of different parts describing different aspects of the shop and customers etc. Right now I'm not completely sure about where I will take the story, but feel free to take a look, and give me your thoughts!

First part is here, and if you like it, the second part is up here

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I like it! I think it has a lot of potential. Your descriptions are engaging, loved the description of fortune cookies, and you could feel the young boy's wonder at everything he saw and felt. There are a few grammar issues, like Mr. and Miss should always be capitalized as should any proper nouns like Irish, but overall I think it's a great start on a story and I hope you continue it as I would enjoy reading more.

Thank you! I will edit the grammar mistakes at once, English is not my native language so I guess I'm bound to miss a few things :)
It's great to hear that you like the descriptions, I do my best to describe things in a detailed way and from the childs perspective, which is a bit tricky at times, but very funny :)

In that case I am even more impressed with the quality and the fact that you only had a couple of those tiny little grammar mistakes is amazing. I have to agree that I really enjoy writing from a child's perspective, makes you rethink the way you look at things, gives everything a more innocent feel, and definitely some unintentioned humor, at least on the characters part. :-D

Thank you! It really means a lot to hear that the language is good - sometimes I'm afraid that writing in a language other than your own won't work...
And yes, I really enjoy having to see everything in a new way, I often try to do that in real life as well, to never lose my sense of wonder :)

Thanks for adding me as a friend by the way, I'm starting to feel very happy that I found a community to post my story in :)

Oh, and I forgot to say that I adore your icon :)

Thank you! It always makes me laugh :-) I saved it to my computer a long time ago and unfortunately no longer remember where I got it from. (So if anyone recognizes it and knows who made it let me know!)

It's very enchanting. I really enjoyed reading it, your writing is very wonderful. Would love to see this go somewhere.

I really would love to get to know more of Francis, and Mr. Sullivan, and Mrs. D and Cuchulainn, too. Please write more!

Oh thank you! :) This makes me all giddy inside, I almost never show my stuff to anyone.
I have a couple of pages on paper, and I will really try not to get stuck with it. Peoples positive comments definitely makes me want to write more :)

:) You really have a way with writing, you shouldn't be so shy to show your works!

I hope you will find a way to continue your story, I haven't come across anything so adorable on the internet in a long time.

Can I friend you on LJ? I'd love to keep in touch with your writings / updates.

Oh my god, thank you, I feel so flattered :) By all means, go ahead!

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