writers_loft | New Here

New Here

Hi people,

I'm new here and pretty new to writing. I've been a computer professional most of my life, but the past few years I've developed an itch to write. Back around 2004 I had an episode of writing poetry (available on my journal) but then stopped - lost motivation.

Now I've been moved to write a Young Adult novel, and I've got a prologue and two chapters. Only one other person has read it so far, but she thinks it's good and that I should finish it and try to get it published. I'd kind of like to post excerpts here and see what others think - but I don't know if that would mess up chances for commercial publication.

But in any case, I'm glad I found this place and hopefully I will be able to learn from others here.

-Steve

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Well welcome, and I'd love to read what you have to write. where is ur story posted? Also I'd like to c what you think of mine, I posted part of my first chapter on my blog so I can check urs out and u can check mine out... (i kind of changed some of it, so i'll have to post the revision later) if u want. but i'll check ur's out anyway.

if u do check it out, tell me what u think.

Welcome again, ^.^

You should write and finish it before you start posting it for critique.

If you get stuck in an editing loop, you aren't going to finish it.

This is VERY true, and pretty much where I am right now.

I think if you start looking for critique too soon, you might discourage yourself from writing more.

On the other hand, critique has helped me, and saved me a LOT of editing time.

There's always more editing. Heh. Always.

The reason I'm hoping to get some critique early on is because there is an issue which could be fundamental to the entire work. I am a 62 year old man attempting to write in the voice (first person) of a 14 year old girl. I need some basic feedback on whether the character, her associates, and her voice are realistic, believable and sympathetic before I invest a huge amount of effort in getting it wrong.

-Steve

You're going to edit it ten times or more before you send it off for publication in all likelihood (that's based on other published authors I've talked with). If you aren't prepared to do significant rewrites and possibly get rid of quite a bit of previous effort going in, you might be fighting the wrong battle. Additionally, as you write, your grasp of the character voice changes significantly. You get better at being in his or her head, exploring his or her motivations, knowing instinctively what she or he would do when in a particular situation. Your character becomes more consistent through exercise.

You can go back later to modify the age of the character, the setting, or other details if you must. But you'll get more secure in voice as you write. I still contend that if you focus too much on editing now, you risk not finishing it.

If your concern is that you can't make a 14 year old sound realistic in the first two chapters, when you aren't secure in the character's motives, reactions, or voice, I wonder if constructive criticism really is what you need. The most that is going to offer is the subjective view that "that doesn't sound genuine" to me. Ideally, you need to go out and meet some 14 year olds...

I think I understand your point, but I find I must disagree.

First, let me clarify some basics about the circumstances of the work. This is a first novel and my first attempt to write fiction. I have a day job and a number of time-consuming personal relationships that I can't really get out of. Time to write has to be found in that context, which isn't easy.

The novel is projected to cover the viewpoint character's Freshman and Sophomore years of high school. In about two months of writing I have brought her forward to the end of lunch on her second day. If I complete the entire work prior to asking for critique we could easily be looking at a couple of years down the road in real time. So, what purpose would I have for being here now?

The next point is that there is editing and editing.

My character is a bass player (Her dad got her a second-hand Fender P-Bass for her middle school graduation). It could turn out that she simply doesn't work as a bassist. If I were to have to reinvent her as a lead guitarist or a keyboardist this would be fairly minor and not seriously discombobulate the overall plot. And that could happen, since I want her to do at least some songwriting, and that's difficult if you don't play at least some regular guitar or keys.

Other elements are a little different in their impact.

Kaitlyn's personality is shaped by many things - not the least of which is that she has a stable home and parents who are strict, but not a-holes. She respects them and they have her back. She attends church, and that is important to her, although it is not her center. She doesn't make a big deal of identifying as "Christian" and she doesn't even wear a WWJD bracelet. But her years attending Suunday School and het Youth Group have helped shape her - probably more than she even realizes. She's not naturally unkind, but she can be a real smartass - often at unpredictable moments. (Well, I can predict them - but that's why I'm the writer :)

Now suppose all *that* doesn't work.

Then we are not talking abour editing or rewrites. We are talking about a different book that tells a different story.
Every conversation changes. The outcome of all the encounters the character has will be different. The plot will go in other directions.

And if that's what will need to happen I want to find out sooner rather than later. I don't want to spend a year or two living with this individual, having her become more real to me than the people around me, and then find that the rest of the world finds her ridiculous, or worst of all, boring.

In my day job, I'm a computer professional, and a lot of my background is in programming. And I have always believed in defining the project correctly at the beginning, and getting feedback from the prospective end-users early and often. That saves a *huge* amount of grief, cost overruns, and wasted effort. I don't see how writing a novel should be that different.

(COntinued following)

(Continued from previous)

Some of your suggestions about going back to change elements of the story might work for other pieces of fiction, but not this one. The major plot turns are known and they depend tightly on age and setting. In particular, the entire theme of the novel (conformity/non-conformity) is bound up with setting. (Wood City, "forest products capital of the Midwest". Forest Park - the "snooty" side of town. Forest Academy, the exclusive private prep school - Kaitlyn is more than a little surprised when she gets a scholarship and finds herself there as a Freshman. Wood City Central High - a very different place. Metal detectors at the doors and all the rest.
Kaitlyn ends up there after she is officially invited not to return for her Sophomore year at Forest Academy.)

The story can't really be told without these settings, or settings like these. If they don't work, then the story doesn't work. I'm sure the theme could be rescued, since it's a universal. But it would be a completely different story.

So if this stuff doesn't work, I should find out before I invest a lot more of my life into it.

As to meeting 14 year olds. I approve - in principle. I'm single with no kids or grandkids, and hanging out with the teenage kids of one of my close friends was one of the best experiences of my life, and helped inspire me to write about and for that age group. Sadly, my friend is now several years dead of breast cancer, her kids and their friends have begun to grow into adulthood and go their own ways. My window into their world has closed. And, unfortunately, given my age and gender, going out to "meet 14 year olds" will be viewed with suspicion and hostility. Sad sign of our times.

Let me know what you think,

-Steve

There's no law about hanging out in public places where teens meet. The trick is breaking into the clique with approval. Someone here had a similar problem and managed to break his way into a creative writing club that the local junior high was having at a local starbucks.

You could talk with school teachers as part of your research as a writer. They would be closer to an age you would feel comfortable with, able to give you insight into real character, and possibly give you ideas on how to meet the parents of other kids the age you're looking for.

I wish you the best of luck.

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