http://fallenlives.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] fallenlives.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] writers_loft 2009-07-31 06:48 pm (UTC)

I have the same name except spelled different (: (Kaitlin)
I do have a friend with the same spelling as you too. It gets a little confusing if you can imagine.

I like your story so far. It seems interesting. However, I have to agree with nontu. You use too many similes. In other words too many comparisons depending on LIKE or AS. Similes are great and an useful way to describe something, but try not to overuse them.

I wish you the best of luck on your English. For it being a second language this is quite good. English is really annoying to learn to. It's my first language and I'm still trying to comprehend it all.

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