Question(s)!

[rosalinda-143.livejournal.com]

Grammar issues again.

Which would be correct?

This one: I made sure that she was no where in sight and made sure that Dr. Garcia was preoccupied with what he was doing before I threw my legs over the side of the bed and walked over to Benny.
“Could I talk to you for a moment?” I murmured under my breath.

or

This one: I made sure that she was where in sight and made sure that Dr.Garcia was preoccupied with what he was doing before I threw my legs over the side of the bed and walked over to Benny. "Could I talk to you for a moment?" I murmured under my breath.

Also...

"And exactly what did you see?" he asked.

or

"And exactly what did you see?" He asked.

When to capitalize words like, Mom, Dad, North, South, etc., etc.

And where to put the comma.

Ex: North, South, East, and West. Do I put the comma after East or not?

And how do I know when to put the comma behind 'then'?

Thanks in advanced!

peace.love.happiness.

~ Rosie

Comments

[robin-karif.livejournal.com]

1. I'm assuming you're asking which is correct - "no where" or "where" -- in this case, the correct answer is "nowhere" - one word. However, just reading over your sentence, you have quite the run-on sentence there. If, stylistically, that is what you want, just change "no where" to "nowhere". Otherwise, look into breaking it into two separate sentences:

"I made sure she was nowhere in sight. I also made sure that Dr. Garcia was preoccupied with what he was doing before ..." etc.

2. Honestly, since you're presenting a question in the quotation mark, "he asked" is not really needed. If you want to keep it in, I think having a lower-case "he" would be more appropriate. Again, it's really a stylistic choice; there really isn't a clearly defined rule on the matter in creative writing (like most grammatical rules, in my opinion).

3. When it comes to Mom and Dad, if you're saying "my mom" or "my dad", keep it lower case. However, if you're saying, "Hey Mom, I have a question for you" -- "Mom" can be seen as a title or name. Therefore, you would want to capitalize it. If you're saying "your mom" - again, lower case. It's only when referring to your own mother without the word "my" in front of it that you would want to capitalize it.

Directions is kind of the same. If you're saying the South, as to definite a particular region, capitalize the word. If you're saying south in a very general sense, do not capitalize.

4. As for the comma when you're listing something out, it depends on what you like, really. When you have a comma before the word "and" in a list, the comma is referred to as an "oxford comma (http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutother/oxfordcomma?view=uk)". It's neither correct nor incorrect - meaning, I think it's dependent on the region in which you grew up, how you learned, and your preference. Look at the site I linked to get a better feel for it.

5. I suppose one way you can look at when to use a comma before then is if you use an "If, then" statement. "If my cat drinks milk, then he will throw up later." -- Kind of a bad example, but I think you get the gist. Or if you want to use a sentence that is like, "I went to the store, and then I went to the mall" -- where you want to stylistically omit the word "and" -- "I went to the store, then I went to the mall" that would be fine. Though, a period may be more appropriate.


If you ever have questions for grammar, I highly recommend the Purdue OWL site: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/

Also, one that you might want to consider about grammar when writing a creative piece is what purpose the punctuation serves. You CAN have run-on sentences, just as you can use fragmented sentences. The thing you want to keep in mind, though, is that you're using it correctly - to make a point, or to add feeling. There's no "right" or "wrong" way of using punctuation in a creative piece; however, you do have to know how to use grammar correctly before you can start breaking rules.

I hope that helps.

[robin-karif.livejournal.com]

Err, should proofread before I submit. And/or had the option to edit.

If you're saying the South, as to define** a particular region, (as in America, the South is region, the West is a region, the North West is a region, the North East, etc.) capitalize the word.

[rosalinda-143.livejournal.com]

Thanks! That does help. But for number 1 I meant should I have what the protagonist is saying in the same paragraph or should I make it another paragraph like I was told a million times during school? Because sometimes I see them do that and sometimes I don't and I'm just a little confused on that.

Thanks again! That really does help!

peace.love.happiness.

~ Rosie

[robin-karif.livejournal.com]

Ahha! The resolution of my screen makes it so that there wasn't a difference. =B

You can keep it in the same paragraph if you want to. I've read published novels where they have dialogue smack in the middle of description and keep it one long paragraph. I think as long as you create a break when two different people are speaking, you should be fine. Again, it really is a stylistic choice.

I've seen it go both ways (two characters speaking in a same paragraph vs. creating a break), but it has to be done in such a way as to not confuse the reader.


What you really need to do, in choosing to go against "rules", is to keep in mind that not everyone will understand what you're trying to achieve. Hemmingway, for example, breaks TONS of grammatical rules, but he does it for a specific purpose. People like to claim that he doesn't know how to write. In reality, he knows what the rules are, but he chooses to have fragmented or run-on sentences to create a specific feel for a scene. It's really fascinating, but the reader also needs to know the rules in order to understand what's going on.

Anyway, really my best advice is to experiment. "Rules" aren't REALLY rules, in my mind. They're more guidelines. You won't get punished for breaking them. Just realize WHY you're breaking them and be prepared to defend yourself when someone claims that your grammar sucks and you need to go back to school (Or just ignore their comments entirely).

*steps off soap box* XD

[rogerdr.livejournal.com]

robin_karif is right in several ways, but I think that I can add a bit here or there, if I may.

Paragraphs in non-dialog narration are generally used to differentiate ideas or themes, however trivial in comparison to the whole. For instance, one paragraph may show Jane leaving her house, while the next has a description of her walking down the street. It's the same trip, but the focus is different. On the other hand, if the whole trip to the store is given in six sentences, then it's given its own single paragraph...English 101.

Paragraphs in dialog, even in a conventionally written story, are a more subtle beast. Generally, they are used to differentiate speakers, but there are two exceptions right off the bat.

First, when a quick interjection or exclamation follows a speech too soon to be excluded from the commentary on that speech, it can be added into the same paragraph. For instance:

"What we once called love has become nothing but the biggest excuse for commercialism," Randy announced, with various shouts of "Boring!" and "Loser!" coming from the crowd.

Second, when a single speech has grown too long for a single paragraph, it is given a special format, with beginning quotes at the start of each paragraph, but only one end-quote at the very end (mass or block quotes are treated differently, of course).

Otherwise, it's (paragraph) speaker A, (paragraph) speaker B, etc. as usual. But even here, there can be problems that individual style probably has to address.

The "he said" stuff is an even more complicated mess. Basically, comments about the speaker or the speech attached to a quote are meant to differentiate speakers when there are more than two or the tête-à-tête is vague enough that it becomes hard to tell which person is saying what. One should never get stuck just alternating "he said", "she said", "he said", "she said". There should be enough clues in the quotes themselves to be able to drop some of these without losing clarity.

Using synonyms for "said" is also a generally bad habit, since they are basically redundancies which the quotes should make clear. For instance:

"The car wasn't just red, it was cherry metal flake," James clarified.

Here, James is obviously clarifying the term "red", so we don't have to be told the obvious. "James shouted" can be done away with by using an exclamation mark (sparingly). "James suggested" should never have to be used after a quote. These synonyms have their uses in other places, as in, "What was it that James suggested?" Using them to over-explain a quote is logically a lazy way to write. A better way to illustrate speech or just to give information indirectly related to the speech is to add comments within that paragraph or in their own. For instance:

"How many times have I told you, no wire hangers!" Mother was so angry that the veins were popping out in her neck.

There is no reason to add "Mother shouted" here. The exclamation mark does that and the extra comment illustrates her mood apart from the subject of the quote.

[robin-karif.livejournal.com]

I totally agree. Thank you for adding to my points. :)

"How many times have I told you, no wire hangers!" Mother was so angry that the veins were popping out in her neck.

Nice example. XD