Hello everyone!

[bonniebix.livejournal.com]

Hi all!

I've been writing for a while now (years, in fact). I'm an English Literature student at Uni (Gothic and Classics), so I adore reading and writing. But I have a bit of a problem that I'd like some advice on how to handle. If this isn't allowed here, please delete it =)

I'm terribly bad at handling criticism, but I want to be able to take suggestions because I am aware that I'm a mediocre writer. Any advice on how to take things better? I realise people aren't doing it to hurt my feelings, but I think I'm just too attached to my work.

Again, I'm sorry if this isn't allowed.

Comments

[woodrunner.livejournal.com]

Taking criticism well is something that everyone learns to do no matter what the criticism is about -- writing, sports, work.

You said, I realise people aren't doing it to hurt my feelings, but I think I'm just too attached to my work; this is invariably why most people starting out in any field throw hissy fits at the mention that their work is a little substandard. I've thrown some spectacular hissy fits in my time, years ago when I first started showing people my work, but I've gotten better about receiving criticism because:

It's not about me. It's about people genuinely wanting to help improve the work.

There's a disclaimer to that where not all of the help is the help you need, so you would have to tell these people what sort of criticism you want to receive. Is it grammar and spelling? Do you want help with the dialogue? Do people feel that your characters are likable (or not)? Do they understand the story you're trying to tell?

Specifying what sort of criticism you'd like to have can help reduce the "No! It's my baby! You don't understand!" monster that invariably rises up when someone answers the "So did you like it?" question with a pause and a faint cringe.

Another way is, if you're too close to your own work, put it aside for weeks, months, however long that it takes for you to go back to it and say, "Hey, I wrote this?" This detaches you from your own work, hopefully enough that you won't feel like every suggestion for improvement isn't a stab in your heart.

The bonus of putting it aside for that long is that when you return to it, you can self-edit the writing a lot more honestly. You should see the massacre after I've gone through a document I haven't looked at in months.

Another way is to offer to criticize other people's work. Unless you really, really, really don't like the person, your psyche wakes up and realizes that it's never about the person who wrote it, but more about how the person reviewing the work perceives it, good and bad, and how to make the story more appealing to that one person (or more).

What it really comes down to is whether you are writing for yourself (in which case you can lock your stories in a trunk and keep them safe from the evil marauders with the poisonous red pens) -- which is what you do when you start writing any story --, or if you're writing for an audience (in which case you have to release it to the wild and be prepared for it to be eaten by the first pack of laughing reviewers who come along) -- which is what you do when you submit it for a grade or show it to your best friend.

But you'll get to the point where you learn to take criticism gracefully (at least in person, then retreat to safe quarters to throw a tantrum behind closed doors), at least eventually. If you're just starting out and getting criticism is new, it will take time to grow thicker skin. Nobody likes criticism, and the more you get it, the more you can distinguish which of it is actually useful to you, and which ones you can put aside.

I hope this helps, and good luck!

Criticism

[she-of-emeralds.livejournal.com]

Welcome!

Of course it's allowed to ask questions like that--that's what we're here for. :-)

Who is the criticism coming from that you have trouble handling? Professors, friends, family? Since you're in school, professors are probably the most important to deal with right now, but it works the same in most circumstances. So here's what I'd say. 1, it *isn't* personal; it's about your work, not you. You said you know that, but make it a mantra. 2. If you find yourself slipping into "OMG, I'm terrible because my work is 'mediocre'" mode, take a few deep breaths, step back, distance yourself from your work, take a walk around the block. Try to come back to it with an objective view. Maybe it's better than you think. 3. Sometimes it helps me to put the current project in a drawer (literally or figuratively) for a little while and doing something else before coming back to it with a fresh eye. I realize that being in school you have deadlines for papers and suchlike, but even one day can help.

Not sure that was as articulate as I meant it to be, but hope it helps. :-)

[iknowthewords.livejournal.com]

I think you have to care about creating a work that is actually GOOD more than you want to keep any line or paragraph or something someone says needs to be changed. You need to look at it as a constant progression of improvement, or else you'll be deflated when someone makes suggestions and doesn't have a whole lot of compliments to give. When this happens, you just need the mentality of getting back in the fight and rewriting until it comes out ringing true. Because you can do that. And you'll grow so much as a writer when you do.

I learned this lesson from my experience as an art major, but I know it's true of writing as well. Don't spend even 2 seconds dwelling on everything you got wrong. Just get back in there and fight for the thing. Eventually you will have a beautiful piece of art in your hands. (:

[amethystrse.livejournal.com]

It can be really difficult to take criticism well. Especially if the person giving it didn't word what they were trying to say well (ie. it came off as rude or something).

I personally take crit with a grain of salt. I try to see what they were saying. Sometimes I find that I agree and sometimes I don't. If I agree with a change that was suggested then I'll work on it. If I don't then I just ignore it.

Remember that everyone has opinions. Those opinions may not mesh well with your opinions but they're just as valid as yours are. People offering crit aren't trying to put you down. Most of the time (I say "most" because I can't speak for everyone) they're just being honest and trying to be helpful.

[saraboo.livejournal.com]

A large problem I see on my other flist - my nonwriting journal - is that people intend to say one thing, but on the internet it's really easy to misinterpret the tone of a comment. Sometimes it's really easy to read a comment as rude when the writer didn't mean it that way.

I really like the comments above as well, and think this is good for all of us to read.

Another helpful thing is to add an author's note that you would like concrit, but are sensitive to it. That will usually help remind people to be more careful how they word things.