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writers_loft2008-10-18 08:58 pm
bonniebix.livejournal.com) wrote in writers_loft2008-10-18 08:58 pm
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Hello everyone!
Hi all!
I've been writing for a while now (years, in fact). I'm an English Literature student at Uni (Gothic and Classics), so I adore reading and writing. But I have a bit of a problem that I'd like some advice on how to handle. If this isn't allowed here, please delete it =)
I'm terribly bad at handling criticism, but I want to be able to take suggestions because I am aware that I'm a mediocre writer. Any advice on how to take things better? I realise people aren't doing it to hurt my feelings, but I think I'm just too attached to my work.
Again, I'm sorry if this isn't allowed.
I've been writing for a while now (years, in fact). I'm an English Literature student at Uni (Gothic and Classics), so I adore reading and writing. But I have a bit of a problem that I'd like some advice on how to handle. If this isn't allowed here, please delete it =)
I'm terribly bad at handling criticism, but I want to be able to take suggestions because I am aware that I'm a mediocre writer. Any advice on how to take things better? I realise people aren't doing it to hurt my feelings, but I think I'm just too attached to my work.
Again, I'm sorry if this isn't allowed.
no subject
You said, I realise people aren't doing it to hurt my feelings, but I think I'm just too attached to my work; this is invariably why most people starting out in any field throw hissy fits at the mention that their work is a little substandard. I've thrown some spectacular hissy fits in my time, years ago when I first started showing people my work, but I've gotten better about receiving criticism because:
It's not about me. It's about people genuinely wanting to help improve the work.
There's a disclaimer to that where not all of the help is the help you need, so you would have to tell these people what sort of criticism you want to receive. Is it grammar and spelling? Do you want help with the dialogue? Do people feel that your characters are likable (or not)? Do they understand the story you're trying to tell?
Specifying what sort of criticism you'd like to have can help reduce the "No! It's my baby! You don't understand!" monster that invariably rises up when someone answers the "So did you like it?" question with a pause and a faint cringe.
Another way is, if you're too close to your own work, put it aside for weeks, months, however long that it takes for you to go back to it and say, "Hey, I wrote this?" This detaches you from your own work, hopefully enough that you won't feel like every suggestion for improvement isn't a stab in your heart.
The bonus of putting it aside for that long is that when you return to it, you can self-edit the writing a lot more honestly. You should see the massacre after I've gone through a document I haven't looked at in months.
Another way is to offer to criticize other people's work. Unless you really, really, really don't like the person, your psyche wakes up and realizes that it's never about the person who wrote it, but more about how the person reviewing the work perceives it, good and bad, and how to make the story more appealing to that one person (or more).
What it really comes down to is whether you are writing for yourself (in which case you can lock your stories in a trunk and keep them safe from the evil marauders with the poisonous red pens) -- which is what you do when you start writing any story --, or if you're writing for an audience (in which case you have to release it to the wild and be prepared for it to be eaten by the first pack of laughing reviewers who come along) -- which is what you do when you submit it for a grade or show it to your best friend.
But you'll get to the point where you learn to take criticism gracefully (at least in person, then retreat to safe quarters to throw a tantrum behind closed doors), at least eventually. If you're just starting out and getting criticism is new, it will take time to grow thicker skin. Nobody likes criticism, and the more you get it, the more you can distinguish which of it is actually useful to you, and which ones you can put aside.
I hope this helps, and good luck!
no subject
I generally do ask for criticism on specific topics - whether my characters are likable or such - this sort of criticism doesn't bother me. Its when I get crit I didn't expect that I have a hard time taking it.
I'm not usually the type to throw a hissy fit though, I'll usually go and whinge about it to myself and then take it out on my writing by thinking that everything I write is sub-standard. It's not a good cycle and this is why I'm trying to get out of it =)
You've been really awesome, I'm really glad you replied to my post =)
no subject
Its when I get crit I didn't expect that I have a hard time taking it.
Yes, those are the absolute worst. I'm lucky that when I was in high school, my creative writing teacher took a particular interest in me; she provided detailed, thoughtful and thorough criticism on whatever I handed in (and asked for more, though that was usually non-credit stuff). Giving her anything at all meant that I was going to get my work handed back in shreds -- but in a good way. It was a blind crit; I never knew what I was going to get back.
So I got used to that sort of thing.
But what really gutted me is when I gave the Spouse something I wrote and asked him to crit it, and he did... but it was less of a crit and more of a gutting, disemboweling, bloody wall-painting. Getting that back was brutal. I'd never been so horrified before -- my story wasn't good enough for my own husband! Who's supposed to love me! Who should hold me and pet my hair and tell me my writing was the most wonderfulest thing on the face of the earth!
When I blew my nose a few times and washed my face of blubbering tears, I went to him and asked, "Um, except for all this... Did you, you know, like it?"
He did, but the point is, I didn't expect the serial killing. When I got over it and looked at the crit again, I realized he had pretty good points. But after that, no amount of criticism from anyone could hurt my feelings.
(We're still married, in case you were wondering...)
Nowadays, if I get criticism, I'm happy, because someone's caught a mistake, a typo, a glaring continuity issue, or a plot hole big enough to drive a Mack truck through. Sometimes it will annoy me in the sense of "That's it? Where's the crit?". If I disagree with their comments, I'll do it in private (or at the Spouse, who suffers for my art), but I'll always go back to the comments and appreciate the criticism.
It's Okay to whinge (in private). It's Okay to throw temper tantrums (in private). There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure a lot of people do it. I'm as guilty as anyone of moping and pouting and whining.
But what's Not Okay is thinking your work is substandard. Never think that. There's a reason why people call their writing Works In Progress -- because their writing is always in some degree of progress or improvement.
You'll get there, I promise. Just keep telling yourself that your work is not sub-par. Tell yourself it's a work in progress. Every day.
Criticism
Of course it's allowed to ask questions like that--that's what we're here for. :-)
Who is the criticism coming from that you have trouble handling? Professors, friends, family? Since you're in school, professors are probably the most important to deal with right now, but it works the same in most circumstances. So here's what I'd say. 1, it *isn't* personal; it's about your work, not you. You said you know that, but make it a mantra. 2. If you find yourself slipping into "OMG, I'm terrible because my work is 'mediocre'" mode, take a few deep breaths, step back, distance yourself from your work, take a walk around the block. Try to come back to it with an objective view. Maybe it's better than you think. 3. Sometimes it helps me to put the current project in a drawer (literally or figuratively) for a little while and doing something else before coming back to it with a fresh eye. I realize that being in school you have deadlines for papers and suchlike, but even one day can help.
Not sure that was as articulate as I meant it to be, but hope it helps. :-)
Re: Criticism
I don't get a lot of criticism from my lecturers, actually. But generally I write essays for Uni; I don't start Creative Writing until next semester, so I guess I better have a good plan for taking criticism early!
The crit mostly comes from people I don't know, actually. I publish a lot of what I write here on my LJ and on my sites etc. They aren't nasty people - they really do make great suggestions and point out things that I don't notice myself, so they aren't trying to upset me.
I think the second suggestion you made is really good. There are so many times where I just sit in front of a manuscript, staring and waiting for it to make itself better when I could be doing something else. I need to start being objective about my work, also. So taking a step back sounds like a good plan to me. Thank you for helping me out!
no subject
I learned this lesson from my experience as an art major, but I know it's true of writing as well. Don't spend even 2 seconds dwelling on everything you got wrong. Just get back in there and fight for the thing. Eventually you will have a beautiful piece of art in your hands. (:
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I spend a great deal of time dwelling on the errors people point out and its really unproductive =(
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I personally take crit with a grain of salt. I try to see what they were saying. Sometimes I find that I agree and sometimes I don't. If I agree with a change that was suggested then I'll work on it. If I don't then I just ignore it.
Remember that everyone has opinions. Those opinions may not mesh well with your opinions but they're just as valid as yours are. People offering crit aren't trying to put you down. Most of the time (I say "most" because I can't speak for everyone) they're just being honest and trying to be helpful.
no subject
I agree, I think critting others can help. I generally have steered away from doing it, since it hurts my feeling and obviously, I think it would hurt someone else's feelings. But I guess I will give out the kind of crit I'd like to receive myself.
It might be best for me to ask for the pros and cons of my writing instead of just the cons. Thankyou so much for replying!
no subject
I really like the comments above as well, and think this is good for all of us to read.
Another helpful thing is to add an author's note that you would like concrit, but are sensitive to it. That will usually help remind people to be more careful how they word things.
no subject
no subject