[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com

A little snippet from the first section of prose in the Tal'verse. I have no idea if this is staying the way it is. It's a little rambling on purpose, to highlight how young he is, but also I feel like I'm not really getting where I need to with it. It seems to make sense to me, but I know the whole plot so I don't think that really counts. So it would be really helpful if you tell me what you got out of it so I can make sure it's working...

[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com
I was reading about the biggest serial killers (I'm heavily interested in criminal psychology) and when reading the chapter on Son of Sam, I was inspired to write a story. If you don't know, Son of Sam was a prolific serial killer in New York who targeted couples. He wrote to the newspapers as well, and one journalist, Jimmy Breslin started a column and wrote back. I decided to take this idea and create a longer and more personal correspondence from the newspaper.

My serial killer is named James Handen. I changed my journalist to just an advice columnist rather than someone who gets the stories etc. Her name is Annabelle Bailey (and her column is "Dear Annabelle").

Okay, so I put what I have so far in the best order I have for now. The first three letters in this entry are in exact order, and the rest of them are chronological but with a lot of space in between them.

Dear Annabelle )

And from here the letters are spaced out widely on a vague timeline...

Once upon a time )

I looked at you and I felt something strange. )

I am also wondering if you think I should keep the point of view all documentation (letters, news stories, police reports/notes, the criminal profile, etc) OR if I should have it from an actual person's viewpoint (Annabelle, Handen, an investigator, a victim, an uninvolved civilian, etc).

Also, any suggestions on where to set this story would be great too. I want it to be in a big city, but not in New York like Son of Sam and Jimmy Breslin were. Any input is appreciated! :)

Mr. Darling

Feb. 1st, 2011 03:20 pm
[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com
I'm kind of looking for a critique or whatever on this because I've never written something like this before and I want to know how I did.

Title: Mr. Darling
Rating: R
Warnings: rape, dark themes, dystopia, bittersweet ending 

Prompt(s): dystopias; "What would it be like to live in a world where we didn't respect our environment, our homes, our schools, our roads, or each other?"

Summary: In Erica’s world there was no such thing as a good person. Respect and integrity were obsolete – things only mentioned in the fairytales no one wanted to read. Erica read fairytales. It was a foolishly courageous thing to do.

Things are not always as they seem :: Let's start the world over )


Dec. 7th, 2010 08:17 pm
[identity profile] rosalinda-143.livejournal.com
Haven't had a question in a while... but now...

Which one(s) would be right?

1. I don't like this type of shoes
2. I don't like these type of shoes
3. I don't like these types of shoes
4. I don't like this type of shoe

The next one is easier done in an example:

When I asked Skye about that, she told me that they cut a hole in my trachea and actually inserted a tube into it because I wasn't breathing on my own, and I had a lot of blood in my throat (or esophagus so they couldn't put a tube down that way).


When I asked Skye about that, she told me that they cut a hole in my trachea and actually inserted a tube into it because I wasn't breathing on my own, and I had a lot of blood in my throat. (Or esophagus so they couldn't put a tube down that way.)

Or are they both right. Or does it depend on how the sentence is worded...?

Well, thanks for listening, and thanks in advanced!


~ J
[identity profile] rosalinda-143.livejournal.com
It's hard to word it into a question, so I have to give you an example.

By the way as a disclaimer these excerpts are taken from All Hallows' Eve by Vivian Vande Velde because I'm not creative enough (right now) to come up with my own examples.

"Okay, now, arms and legs inside the wagon; we don't want any injuries"--the "okay" being his signal he had heard her and was on his way [...].

That was how she wrote it in the book, but I've seen it where the em dash is on the inside of the dialogue. So my question is, which is correct. Outside or inside?

Thanks in advanced to anyone who answers my question! I really appreciate you being so patient with all my questions and answering them as well!


~ J


Sep. 25th, 2010 10:11 pm
[identity profile] rosalinda-143.livejournal.com
You should just call me the Question Queen or something, with me and all my questions I ask you guys...

Anyway, I was just wondering if I should capitalize and/or italicize ballet moves.

That's pretty much it.

Thanks in advanced for you answer!


~ J
[identity profile] rosalinda-143.livejournal.com
This'll be real quick and short.

Which would be the correct way?

I was a ten-year-old.


I was a ten year old.

I think I've seen this done both ways and I don't know which way is grammatically correct.

And then,

Is it blonde or blond? I've also seen both before. What's the difference? If there isn't any which one should I use in my writing?

All answers welcome! Thanks in advanced!


~ J
[identity profile] rosalinda-143.livejournal.com
Okay, so three more questions that have me confused...

Questions under cut just because I think this post is long )


~ J
[identity profile] rosalinda-143.livejournal.com
Well, more like "questions". Because I have two.

One: how would you write pm? Is is PM, P.M., p.m., or pm. Or do I just avoid using that in my writing?

Two: I'm not sure about hyphens ( - ). It's kind of hard to explain, but I'll try my best...

Here's a sample of a sentence from one of my short stories: I kept my bag in my lap. It kept all my belongings including two pairs of clothes–not including the ones I was wearing–and my wallet with my I.D. and the money I had made previously.

When I had my short story read by a beta they told me that I should have spaces between my hyphens, like so: I kept my beg in my lap. It kept all my belongings including two pairs of clothes - not including the ones I was wearing - and my wallet with my I.D. and the money I had made perviously.

My question is, what's the difference? I started doing that as I write, but when I read I see the the hyphens don't have any spaces in between? How do I know when to put spaces between the sentences and the hyphens?

Thanks to all in advanced!

~ J
[identity profile] clear-sarcasm.livejournal.com
Hi everyone,

I believe this is my first time posting here.

I just had a question for anyone who may be able to assist me.

I'm currently working on a novel (fiction - thriller). The opening chapter is to begin with a 911 call being placed by a woman in distress. The novel is written in third-person perspective, past tense. So, how would the conversation take place?

Every time I try to play it out, I think of news segments or scripts in which it is written something like this:

Dispatch: 911, what's your emergency?
Caller: Someone's been shot.
Dispatch: Who's been shot? Where are you calling from?

This, obviously, won't work in my novel...so...what are my options?

Any and all advice, criticism and/or opinions are welcomed and appreciated.


Oh, help!

Nov. 23rd, 2009 09:14 am
[identity profile] neensz.livejournal.com
I've been struggling horribly these past few weeks with an assignment I've set myself. I know that writing in dialect either turns out great or utterly horrible (usually the latter), but I've been trying to write a Louisianian (?) accent. The problem is, I don't know what it sounds like (apart from Hollywood's interpretation, and we all know how accurate Hollywood tends to be)! It feels like I've looked everywhere online (though I know I haven't), and can't find a real Louisiana accent clip. I don't even know if the Cajun accent extends throughout the whole state or not. Short of just dialing a random number in the Louisiana area code and hoping someone picks up, I don't know what to do. So please, if you've got tips, or even better, links, please let me know! Thanks.
[identity profile] rosalinda-143.livejournal.com
Okay, so I'm just so confused right now. And I want your guyses advice on what to do. My book involves vampires and yes they are teenagers at a school. Sounds like Twilight doesn't it. Well I don't want it to sound like Twilight. I want it to be my own (with secret agents and strong, independant women), and I have had some people suggest that I change them to adults, so that they're older and more mature.

And I don't know which to choose. I've been thinking about it and I just can't decide, so I'm holding a poll. If you pick yes or no please tell me why in the comment box. Thank you.

[Poll #1444798]


- Rosie
[identity profile] magickeyboard.livejournal.com

Hi all! I’m new to the community and an aspiring author (of course). I’ve been writing forever but have never even come close to finishing a book until now and it’s not a style I normally write so it’s constantly surprising me. I will have plenty more relevant comments and questions later but right now I’m here to ask about a style choice; Chapter Titles.

Until this book I was never one to use them, always sticking with simple numbers, but the first few chapters kind of named themselves and so I’ve stuck with it. There are some good sides to it; the titles can help set the tone as well as providing clues you may not explicitly state in the chapter. However once you start you can’t stop and depending on how long your story is compared to how short your chapters are you can end up spending almost more time coming up with witty, appropriate titles than actually writing the chapters themselves. Or so I’ve discovered.

I was just wondering what other people’s opinions were on the topic, if you prefer no titles or like chapter titles and what elements you think should be included or considered in a chapter title, and what elements should not. Any perks or pitfalls you’ve discovered or noticed. All thoughts and comments welcome!

[identity profile] rip-the-tide.livejournal.com
So, I have this screen play I've been writing for script frenzy (google it), but I don't know what should happen next. I'm not even really sure what's going on currently, but there you have it.

Share ideas pls? )

[identity profile] aravah.livejournal.com
Cross-posted to [profile] start_writing, my writer's resource community - all welcome. (Many thanks to [personal profile] aeriedraconia for allowing me to cross-post this here)

I came across this Lexicon of Terms used by critiquers to point out areas of weakness in manuscripts. It's not copyrighted, so I've copied here. It's intended for use in a SF workshop, but there are some areas that are relevant to all genres.

Any thoughts? I know I've been guilty of some of these in the past! ;)

[identity profile] aeriedraconia.livejournal.com
I ran across this article by author Stacia Kane about writing advice and the perils of believing everything you read upfront. Not all writing advice is good advice so take everything with a grain of salt. And there is no one rule or method that fits everyone.


Make sure to read the comments too, there's some good stuff there.


NOTE: If any of you see an interesting, helpful article or blog post you are more than welcome to post a link to it and open a discussion about it. The same goes for a really bad advice article or something you have questions or doubts about.


1. What's the best piece of writing advice you've ever received/read/heard?
2. What is the worst writing advice you've ever received/read/heard?


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