Date: 2009-12-18 11:05 pm (UTC)
You are lucky not to have read up to the end, dear starlight83. In the rest of the text grammar rules are almost totally abandoned. The lexical part is also lame: only the phrase "...mother named you as magic" would drive any teacher of English mad.
Since this is apparently a piece of a larger story (if I'm not terribly mistaken or misled:)) I can't have any clear opinion of the plot: it all looks a terrible mess to me.
But one thing struck my eye: "As brother and sister they’d not always gotten along." It is said in such a matter-of-fact way that appears to be almost normal for the author, unless it had been explained elsewhere. And I find an appalling repetition of this motive in the modern fiction, whereas it's a tragedy. Has it become a common thing in the modern civilization?:(
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