1. I'm assuming you're asking which is correct - "no where" or "where" -- in this case, the correct answer is "nowhere" - one word. However, just reading over your sentence, you have quite the run-on sentence there. If, stylistically, that is what you want, just change "no where" to "nowhere". Otherwise, look into breaking it into two separate sentences:
"I made sure she was nowhere in sight. I also made sure that Dr. Garcia was preoccupied with what he was doing before ..." etc.
2. Honestly, since you're presenting a question in the quotation mark, "he asked" is not really needed. If you want to keep it in, I think having a lower-case "he" would be more appropriate. Again, it's really a stylistic choice; there really isn't a clearly defined rule on the matter in creative writing (like most grammatical rules, in my opinion).
3. When it comes to Mom and Dad, if you're saying "my mom" or "my dad", keep it lower case. However, if you're saying, "Hey Mom, I have a question for you" -- "Mom" can be seen as a title or name. Therefore, you would want to capitalize it. If you're saying "your mom" - again, lower case. It's only when referring to your own mother without the word "my" in front of it that you would want to capitalize it.
Directions is kind of the same. If you're saying the South, as to definite a particular region, capitalize the word. If you're saying south in a very general sense, do not capitalize.
4. As for the comma when you're listing something out, it depends on what you like, really. When you have a comma before the word "and" in a list, the comma is referred to as an "oxford comma (http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutother/oxfordcomma?view=uk)". It's neither correct nor incorrect - meaning, I think it's dependent on the region in which you grew up, how you learned, and your preference. Look at the site I linked to get a better feel for it.
5. I suppose one way you can look at when to use a comma before then is if you use an "If, then" statement. "If my cat drinks milk, then he will throw up later." -- Kind of a bad example, but I think you get the gist. Or if you want to use a sentence that is like, "I went to the store, and then I went to the mall" -- where you want to stylistically omit the word "and" -- "I went to the store, then I went to the mall" that would be fine. Though, a period may be more appropriate.
If you ever have questions for grammar, I highly recommend the Purdue OWL site: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/
Also, one that you might want to consider about grammar when writing a creative piece is what purpose the punctuation serves. You CAN have run-on sentences, just as you can use fragmented sentences. The thing you want to keep in mind, though, is that you're using it correctly - to make a point, or to add feeling. There's no "right" or "wrong" way of using punctuation in a creative piece; however, you do have to know how to use grammar correctly before you can start breaking rules.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2010-03-06 05:50 am (UTC)"I made sure she was nowhere in sight. I also made sure that Dr. Garcia was preoccupied with what he was doing before ..." etc.
2. Honestly, since you're presenting a question in the quotation mark, "he asked" is not really needed. If you want to keep it in, I think having a lower-case "he" would be more appropriate. Again, it's really a stylistic choice; there really isn't a clearly defined rule on the matter in creative writing (like most grammatical rules, in my opinion).
3. When it comes to Mom and Dad, if you're saying "my mom" or "my dad", keep it lower case. However, if you're saying, "Hey Mom, I have a question for you" -- "Mom" can be seen as a title or name. Therefore, you would want to capitalize it. If you're saying "your mom" - again, lower case. It's only when referring to your own mother without the word "my" in front of it that you would want to capitalize it.
Directions is kind of the same. If you're saying the South, as to definite a particular region, capitalize the word. If you're saying south in a very general sense, do not capitalize.
4. As for the comma when you're listing something out, it depends on what you like, really. When you have a comma before the word "and" in a list, the comma is referred to as an "oxford comma (http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutother/oxfordcomma?view=uk)". It's neither correct nor incorrect - meaning, I think it's dependent on the region in which you grew up, how you learned, and your preference. Look at the site I linked to get a better feel for it.
5. I suppose one way you can look at when to use a comma before then is if you use an "If, then" statement. "If my cat drinks milk, then he will throw up later." -- Kind of a bad example, but I think you get the gist. Or if you want to use a sentence that is like, "I went to the store, and then I went to the mall" -- where you want to stylistically omit the word "and" -- "I went to the store, then I went to the mall" that would be fine. Though, a period may be more appropriate.
If you ever have questions for grammar, I highly recommend the Purdue OWL site: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/
Also, one that you might want to consider about grammar when writing a creative piece is what purpose the punctuation serves. You CAN have run-on sentences, just as you can use fragmented sentences. The thing you want to keep in mind, though, is that you're using it correctly - to make a point, or to add feeling. There's no "right" or "wrong" way of using punctuation in a creative piece; however, you do have to know how to use grammar correctly before you can start breaking rules.
I hope that helps.