ext_22947 ([identity profile] aeriedraconia.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] writers_loft2011-01-26 10:12 pm
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The Pick Up Line Game #2

We haven't played this game for a while.


The Pick Up line/Opening Line/First line Game

Post the first line of the main story or stories that you are working on.

Then, those of us reading them can reply with:
Does it or doesn't it make you want to read more?

And for the fun of it:
Guess the genre?
Guess what happens next?

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[identity profile] starlight83.livejournal.com 2011-01-28 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I can't figure out why this sentence starts with "maybe."

Re: Pick up line game

[identity profile] jennyharker.livejournal.com 2011-01-28 11:04 pm (UTC)(link)
The genre is Mainstream or could be Action/Adventure, Mystery, Gay/Lesbian, Humor, take your pick. The following humorous scene is viewed through the eyes of the main character who has the unfortunate habit of thinking out loud.

Re: Pick up line game

[identity profile] jennyharker.livejournal.com 2011-01-28 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I will post the scene on my blog at jennyharker.livejournal.com

[identity profile] secondlongest.livejournal.com 2011-01-29 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
Want to read more: Of course
Genre: Not sure, but I'd say either sci-fi or dystopia

[identity profile] canaryh.livejournal.com 2011-01-29 09:38 am (UTC)(link)
Three more sentences might help you to figure it out:

Maybe, I screamed all the way down. I don't know. My attention was arrested by something else. I could but stare at the bricks of the floor that grew in front of my eyes.

[identity profile] canaryh.livejournal.com 2011-01-29 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
LOL Feel free to check my journal entry The Threes. You got the genre: speculative fiction/bizarre realism

[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
Cool! Will do. When I have time... Lol.

[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
Dystopia. Good job! I'm about three-quarters of the way done, if you'll still be interested in (hopefully) a few days. I'm hoping to have it done by the end of the month. o.0

[identity profile] knittingknots.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
It's actually a fantasy story. It opens with him on the grounds of a medieval-style fair, where he is working for a merchant...At this point, he's actually just wanting to get some lunch, but he's about to run into some serious trouble...

[identity profile] knittingknots.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks much!

[identity profile] knittingknots.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Fantasy it is!

[identity profile] knittingknots.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
YA? Moi? Hmmm....

[identity profile] knittingknots.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
In case anybody's interested, you can read a chunk of this here: http://wordssurroundme.blogspot.com/2011/01/one-day-at-fair.html

[identity profile] knittingknots.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
oooh...I wanna read more. Makes me think of fantasy. What happens next? Something odd takes place in the tavern that leads Nerie on an interesting quest.

[identity profile] starlight83.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
It is historical fantasy. :)

Nerie is the captain of a merchant ship in Etruscan Italy circa 474 BC. He's about to make a lot of money on his next shipment, so he refuses to believe the omen is for him and sets sail. His ship runs into a storm, he's washed overboard, and he drowns. Then he makes a deal with the god of the underworld to come back to life for a price...and the rest of the story follows from that.

[identity profile] knittingknots.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Oooooh...I like.

[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 02:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Lol, are you not a YA person?

[identity profile] knittingknots.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Nope...not at all.

[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com 2011-01-31 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Oops. XD

[identity profile] secondlongest.livejournal.com 2011-02-06 08:27 am (UTC)(link)
Here's another opening line from something else I'm working on.

"It has been approximately 91 years, 4 months, and 27 days since we've been in the simulation. Each day is worse than the last."

[identity profile] artierayne.livejournal.com 2011-02-19 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
"Leopold Cates never wanted to be important."

[identity profile] artierayne.livejournal.com 2011-02-19 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Want to read more: Yes, its defintely a very catching line.

Genre: Little uncertain, could really open up to go in any direction. But I pick fantasy because it's my favourite.

What happens next: I would guess that an actual fair comes into play, although for better or worse is questionable.

Very nice start, really love the descriptors you used.

Re: Pick up line game

[identity profile] artierayne.livejournal.com 2011-02-19 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I would most absolutely love to read more of this. Now that is the sort of line that really grabs a person's attention. Bravo!

More than one sentence but literally all I have of the story...

[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com 2011-03-11 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I realize it's been a while since this was posted, but I just started something I'm really having trouble with the beginning and logistics of, so I figured I'd throw it out there.

We traveled to a world where Morse code became our own personal language. "I suppose this is good," he said in dots and dashes, "since I could never find the right words to tell you how beautiful you are." So I suppose this is good. But I wish I could hear him say my name again.

Re: More than one sentence but literally all I have of the story...

[identity profile] mercury-hall.livejournal.com 2011-03-11 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
ETA: This little paragraph is either the very beginning or the very end.
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