(no subject)

[scentofthepine.livejournal.com]

This is something I wrote a couple of days ago, and I'm proud of it, but I'm wondering if it's worth going forward with it, whether it needs massive reconstruction, or whether I should just let it die.

Any and all comments are appreciated.
Oh, and it's like 3,000 words, if you're into that sort of thing. :)

(x-posted to my personal journal and about a trillion writing comms)



( I don't need no stinking title. )

Hearing Them

[aden-recreated.livejournal.com]

 I hear them when I lie down to sleep every night. I hear them in my dreams. I hear them...everywhere. I can hear them now, softly, calling my name like a whisper on the wind. Can you hear them too? Someone let me know I am not alone. Someone get me out of here, please! Now the voices are bordering on loud as I write this. They don't want me to write this down and have the Others know about them. They want to stay a secret but it's too late. People know about them and invented Thorazine for them (and for anxiety). But people know about them. They know that they command me to hurt people and to use red ink. They say if I do it they'll go away. I believe them sometimes. People say they lie. They make me anxious and worrisome and hyperviligant. I pick up on things more intensely sometimes when I hear them. Everything becomes louder, much more frightening. Vivid. I strongly dislike it. I stand up in the middle of my trance and go into my brother's room. Him first. He is lying peacefully on the cot, thumb in his mouth, eyes shut, when I walk into his room. The pillow is on the floor, abandoned. I pick it up, feeling the material against my hands and fingers. I collapse onto the floor. The last memory I have is a voice telling me, "You're almost there." When I wake up I am not in my own room, I'm in a room without a computer, without my stuffed animals, without my blanket. There's a girl across the way, blankly staring, her eyes empty. Soon, I will be her. There's nothing left. I still hear them. Nothing has really helped.