Hi!

[polkadot-cat.livejournal.com]

 So, I'd like to briefly introduce myself before I post something.

I'm polkadot_cat.  I'm an English major, and I've been writing mostly poetry for about six or seven years.  I love the Beat Poets, Li-Young Lee, Spencer Reese, and Aracelis Girmay.  Two of my favorite authors are Truman Capote and Kurt Vonnegut.

My favorite classes in college are the poetry workshops, where every week you're guaranteed thoughtful, in-depth, honest critique on your work.  I have wildly improved as a writer thanks to those classes.  However, over the summer, I don't have the luxury of that kind of feedback, so I thought I'd join livejournal and see if I could get some helpful comments.

The piece I'm posting here today desperately needs critique.  Any and all comments and suggestions for editing this are welcome!  I wrote it recently, and it certainly needs editing, which is why I'm asking for feedback.  Thanks!  :)

Yellow

I didn’t know someone could fall like that.
 
it was a cartoon, the motion of her body
down those shallow steps, down, down.
legs in the air, two parallel lines
hailing the sky like the most defeated flag.
 
her dress was the yellow color of my grandmother’s love.
she wasn’t my grandmother.
but she was my grandmother.
 
I knew her wrinkles and spots.
I knew her open face, her thin, sagging arms.
I knew her voice, a tiny glass bell chiming,
“I’m all right, I’m all right.”