(no subject)

[connectedmorons.livejournal.com]

So. Uh. Like.
Hi ?
Quite honestly, I'm not the best with introductions.

Uhm, I suppose I should start off with a small basic ... run - down ... of my. Uh. Physical traits ? Hobbies ?
Ah, whatever.
I'm sixteen; a girl; still living with my mum and scared half to death right now ( it's night. it's night. it's nighttime. ) because we're not sleeping together in the same room because we're still stuck in a cold war after a most horrible fi - ... No, I don't think you'd want to hear the whole sad story. Anyways, anyways ! I've been lurking round here for a pretty damned long time, and oddly enough - surprisingly enough, I've never posted.

Yeah.

Hm. Yeah. Well. Anyways.

" I stole something for you, " she says - all happy - faced and bright teeth.

" What ? "

" I stole something for you. " And this time, she enunciates the words carefully, slowly - almost as if you were a dumb little kid.

" I know, I heard that the first time round. Wait. You stole something for me ? "

This time, she sighs - and rolls her wide, blue eyes. " It's a camo hat. " And the smile comes back, big and wide. Gods, one could hurt their face by smiling like that all the time.

" I hate camo hats. "

But the painful smile does not leave her face. ( Seriously, how the hell does she smile like that ? Someone should tell her to stop. It's fucking creepy. Like a goddamned Stepford Smiler. ) " Whatever. " She flips the bird at you, then pulls the camo hat out of her pink plastic bag. " Here. " And without preamble, she puts it on your head.

" God, this is tight. And it's fucking ugly. "

She laughs, and puts a hand onto one jutting hip. " But you're looking at yourself in the glass. See ? You like it ! "

" Huh. I dunno. Makes me look like a douche. "

And this time she turns serious. " Camo hats makes everybody look assholic. "

And this time you turn away from the glass, away from the douchebag reflection to look at her. " So why did you get this for me, eh ? Sorry - I meant, stole this for me. " You could hear the italics, yanno. So pompous. So sarcastic.

But she isn't deterred; and this time - the smile is a bit more real than before.

" Just for fun, sweetie. Just for fun. "