poetry

[sopeerocks.livejournal.com]

So I wrote this poem, please critique! I mainly just want to know if its good or not, but please do not hold back!


Those Lovely Eyes

Darkness;
It's all I did see
To love and to be -
A lonely mess.

But when he looked,
Dark turned to light
And I thought maybe and might -
On it I had hooked.

If he thought me lovely,
If he thought me anything,
To it his look was ensuring.
A perfect peace I felt, dove-ly.

Then averted from me those eyes,
And suddenly the light,
It had turned to the black of night -
They were just those lovely lies.

Comments

[hyperfoxkit.livejournal.com]

I rather like it. The way you worded it is really interesting. :)

[xgirlybadassx.livejournal.com]

Interesting.I like it and think its really unique =)