How to write out a flirt scene?

[fanfictionaxis.livejournal.com]

In one of my stories, I have my main male character who was dumped by his girlfriend over a year and a month ago, trying to figure out how to flirt with this one girl. He's totally unsure of how to go about it without being an idiot. He has no knowledge of how to flirt and his older brother is a known flirt and womanizer, he doesn't want to ask him for advice as he probably would tell the girl he's interested in that he's interested in her.

Where would he go to get advice for his friends who would have helped him are dead - would a bar be a good idea for him to go and talk to the bartender or should he just come right out and tell her that he's interested in her as a girlfriend and see where it takes them?

And here's the thing, I never flirted before so I am totally new to this.

Comments

[tracy-d74.livejournal.com]

Well there are several things to consider. How old is the character? Is is nerdy? How is he socially? Is he smart, resourceful? You have to think about the character. What is the character's personality. If he is jockish he may read Men's Health. If he's nerdish he may research it on line or go to the library and find a book. If he is a follow the crowd kinda guy, he could watch a movie and take notes. He may go to a bar. What type of bar, though? Bar's have different personalities and the bartenders at those bars have different levels of willingness to help. I think you can find flirting advice from anyone. Even a parent or grandparent. The character's personality will dictate the person and the place. Also, do you want the advice to be helpful or comical or a mixture? I know this answer may make you scratch your head, maybe even scowl. I essentially answered your question with a question. Best wishes!

[captlychee.livejournal.com]

I can only add to that that there is NO WAY he should ask the bartender. Bartenders serve drinks - they won't give advice on flirting and in real life your character would probably get carded if he asked such a question. Maybe if you set your story fifty years ago a bartender miht give such advice, but I'm sceptical about even that.

If he's living in modern times and you want the flirtation to be successful, then he might take a few examples from movies.

If you are a girl, just imagine what you would want to have said to you. Thus you come up with realistic flirtational behaviour and you already know whether the flirting will be successful or not. If you're a bloke, this is more of a problem.

I'd suggest starting the flirtation at a bar. Thus, he can observe waht she drinks, get the same drink for himself and if the drink is unusual enough, start the conversation by saying "It's rare to see two whisky sours in the same bar. They're an endangered species."
"Uh huh" says the girl.
"I drink them to remember the first time I had one."
"Really?"
"Not really. I saw you drinking one and knew you were a woman of distinction."
"And a real big spender," she replies, getting the lyric.

And it moves on from there.

[tracy-d74.livejournal.com]

good point about bartenders

[thebonedawg.livejournal.com]

I think the advice-giving bartender issue really depends on the setting of the story. If it's in NYC (or any other large city), a bartender isn't going to take the time to give flirtation advice (unless he knows the guy really well). However, in a really small town where everyone knows each other and people tend to be friendlier and more open, it wouldn't seem strange for someone to get advice like that from a bartender.

[svenjaliv.livejournal.com]

Actually, I live in a small Irish town where everyone does know everyone, and I've never heard of anyone going to a bartender for advice. Chatting to them, sure, but it tends to be "how are doing" or banter, never ever anything even half-serious. They might throw in a "go get her" remark if they see you looking, I don't know, but actual advice - not so much. And aside from that, they tend to be busy serving drinks.

If the bartender was your friend, you could of course ask him. But then you'd be asking your friend, and not a bartender, if that makes sense.

[thebonedawg.livejournal.com]

I was rethinking this and you're probably right. Small towns are more conducive to friendly behavior from stranger to stranger but rarely do people ask strangers for advice, especially on such personal matters.