(no subject)

[orangejuicepulp.livejournal.com]

This is my first post here so sorry if I do something wrong ):
This little 2 page, 500 word sample is a very "The Office"-ish story -- although it will never surmount to their high level 
It's about 2 brothers (Floyd, the older and buffer one and Elliot, the younger and lanky one) and their boring life that I try to make a little interesting
I would greatly appreciate any feedback on this (:

PS - when it says (VOICE OVER) next to a name, that means that the character is doing whatever they were doing before, and you just hear the other person's thoughts aloud 

( There's a new girl at the office today. Her name's Tracy. )

(no subject)

[candyispretty.livejournal.com]

Hi, I'm new! I hope I don't mess anything up. This is a short story/vignette I wrote a while back. Any and all feedback would be appreciated.

( Only You )