[LJ Story] Part 8

[thorarosebird.livejournal.com]

Here's part eight of my ongoing story and would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions on anything, from phrasing to pacing to dialogue. If anyone's totally lost with the characters or what's going on just ask, and the previous parts are on my journal. :) I hope the formatting is alright for everyone.

Rating: PG
Genre: Fantasy
Length: approx 1800 words

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Rain hammered on the dark, broad deck. The Athelo had ridden on the waves for three days and nights, as she cleaved her way further south and past the few underwater rocks left, and had now reached the depths of the storm, where the sea crashed against the hull and spray flew up as high as the sails. Cara clung to the ropes that Galthor had tied between masts and along the rails as a guide, her free arm up by her eyes to shield them.

           

( Finlay turned around... )

Poem: The Most Beautiful Man I’ve Ever Seen

[polkadot-cat.livejournal.com]

This is a poem I'm kind of detached from, but I still feel compelled to work on it. I'd love any and all constructive criticism--I think I just need some outside perspective on this.

Also, I know this title isn't very appropriate for the poem. It was the title of the rough, rough first draft. As the poem evolved, the title didn't, so I'd love any suggestions for a better one!

( The Most Beautiful Man I've Ever Seen )