Hello,

[opo-1.livejournal.com]

 Hey  ive been writing this story for only a short while and posting it on my live journal, i thought id join this group to get feed back from other writers. 
this is the first chapter has lots of swearing but is done from a teen boys point of view, so that can be expected.

“Fuck you” I screamed and hit my head violently against the wall again and again the last time keeping myself planted firmly against it and dragging my skull violently down the smooth white tiles of the shower, the end of each tile would scrape my forehead where the hard cement filled in the spaces between. I slide till I reached the bottom naked on the floor water now turned off I burst into uncontrollable crying my whole body shook and I gasped for breath between sobs, the only solace was when I couldn’t think of anything else to make me burst out. I pulled myself up by the taps on the shower my body was so weak. I just hoped I could rest here long enough to relieve my body and mind for this constant stress, here I felt safe yet incredibly insecure. Considering this wasn’t even my own home. I dried and dressed myself walked out into the kitchen where Billy was waiting, I hugged him and pressing my face into his chest and he wrapped his arms around my waist. A few minutes past as we held each other like this and I felt his loose black shirt grow moist, I realized my tears had come back. Billy was only and inch taller then me but he considered himself more manly then I which didn’t bother me I preferred being dwelled upon and since my bag was filled with dresses and make up. He definitely had a point; his brown hair was as long as his ears and fell in his eyes as he stared into mine, and caressed my wet shoulder length black messy hair.

“Its ok, Shaant my baby we’ll be away soon, I promise they wont find us and I wont let them hurt you” he said gently,

“Oh yeah, says you Mr. Tough guy, why don’t we go make love on that hill and watch a romantic sunset, but we just better watch out we don’t kill CRISTIAN FUCKING EDWARDS’ I groaned and cried some more into my hands.

“I know it was insane, I…I…I didn’t mean for it to turn out like this, you know that, Oh God Damn, I wish this never happened baby. I feel so shitty”

At this point I wrapped my arms around his neck cradling his head as he too broke down.

I felt bad I’m the worst boyfriend ever why did I yell at him it wasn’t his fault that night had just gone so horribly wrong it was a blur.

…………………

Billy and I had met through drama class at the end of this term, I was so confused about the way I felt about him. I never contemplated the idea of being gay before, but as soon as I met him I realized I hadn’t had any feelings for girls at the age of 15. I refused the idea to myself knowing my father was always screaming at me to be the son who should play football, and yunno the drill. It happens all the time to guys like me.  Ignoring my feelings proved to be more troublesome then I had imagined, id see him every day smiling in my direction, causing a strong uneasiness and in drama class, I was stuffing up my plays completely. Even the end of term play I got a stingy little role with a couple of lines I was so angry, it was his fucking fault why did I even feel like this. I didn’t need this type of shit on my plate at the moment, with my home life a mess, and now the only thing I was good at was slipping away.

It was a shitty day that he chose to approach me as I sat in the corner isolated as usual crying my eyes out, making sure no one could see me crying as it would surely be a good bulling motive. But I was so distressed I felt my body cave and loud sobs crept over me, attracting Billy’s attention as he made his way to the library. I was already irate I didn’t need the source of my distress approaching me. It happened though he sat there next to me watching as I ignored him and continued.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, WATCHING A FREAK SHOW OR SOMETHING” I screamed refusing to look at him in the eyes for fear of being sucked right into them.

But he said nothing just sat there and suddenly I felt his warm flesh press against my shoulder he was hugging me, I choked up inside what the fuck was he doing who does this in real life, was I dreaming was this some kind of sick wet dream.

Just to make sure I raised my head and stared at him he blushed, I couldn’t give in to this he had to be joking. I ripped myself away from him thinking it must be some dare from his friends, they probably all know the way I look at him oh, shit every one probably knows I’m a big faggot.

He was shocked and staring open mouthed as I stood up stared at him then burst into tears again and ran to the bathroom. Why did I even like him I hardly knew him.

As I finally stopped my pathetic crying, and blew my nose on a piece of toilet paper, I heard his voice again, of course he knew I was here he saw me run here away from him.

“Shaant, I’m really sorry you thought I was being a jerk, please don’t suspect I am just cause of my friends you’ve never talked to me… please I feel like a jerk… I know your in here answer me”   

“b...b...Billy why are you talking to me, as you said we’ve never talked before why are you suddenly taking notice of me just because you heard me crying since when do you give a shit”

There was silence and I felt sore the words I said to him made things worse why was I being a bitch to him, he only wanted to help.

“Come out and talk please, I’m sorry”

With that I heard his voice quiver slightly, and I couldn’t do this to him. I saw my hand shake as I raised it up to the metal lock, and I stepped out expecting slightly to see him with a group of boys laughing at the little wimp. But I all I saw was him standing there; his face was as red as I had ever seen.

“What is it that you want from me Billy, cause I have to admit your making me feel weird”

He looked me in the eyes then I felt my stomach doing gymnastics.

“I’m sorry can I talk to you after school we are kinda late for class and I just need someone to talk to and it seems you do, the toilets are a choice place.”

Well that explained why the toilets were so empty, but I still had a million questions swimming around in my head biting at my stomach like piranhas.

“Sure” I shrugged and we walked out of the toilets awkwardly I went to class.

 That afternoon he waited for me at the gate and as we walked to the park as he suggested, I felt incredibly lost for words he talked about drama, sport and girls and I couldn’t manage so much as a “mmm…” or an “I agree”, I was content with the sound of his voice and concentrating on the intellectual things he spoke would have made me spew up.

At the park we sat down on a table and he turned to me for the first time and asked me why it was I had been upset today.

I felt choked up again, I couldn’t tell him, that it was him that had been half of my distress the other was my father’s continual abuse towards me.

I decided to tell him that story. I opened my mouth but then stopped still unsure of how quickly a friendship had moved between us. I continued then knowing how much I really did enjoy his company.

“Well, its just some stuff at home you know, how much home life messes you up”

He looked at me with a concerned expression, then he spoke, the words I heard next were unexpected and haunting. As I did encourage him to share his side I never expected such sweet succor.

  “Listen Shaant I know you think your hurting inside but I wanted to tell you, a year ago I thought it would be a sensible idea to tell my parents something I thought they would have accepted me for, I came home from school one day, and they casually asked me whether I had any interest in the girls at school I blatantly replied with I don’t find girls attractive mum, I’m actually gay. These days I presumed they wouldn’t take too long to accept it. What I hadn’t thought about was what to do if they don’t take so easy.”

I sat there stroking his shoulder as comfort (which had taken extreme guts to do) as painful memories returned to him.

“Since then I’ve been living with my aunty”

It suddenly felt strange that he was telling me this story did he think I was gay as well, who gave him the right to decide my sexuality, perhaps I did like girls I just hadn’t met any I liked yet, oh who was I kidding my heart was beating so loudly that it was ringing in my ears just by the simple words he spoke and closeness of us now. I thought of possibly admitting to him. But that could end a disaster, there he was admitting to me I had nothing to loose.

“Billy I have to tell you, before my heart commits suicide… wow I suck at this AHHH… “

“Hey man calm down what’s wrong sit back down where are you going, I’m not going to judge you”

“Well you know that just sounds to good, why is this happening Billy why… why?”

I felt him grab my arm as I landed on my knees in front of the seat we sat on. I was crying again. Man I was a fucking faggot, this time I made no attempt to hide it from Billy who realized this and made to effort to hide his affection which startled me beyond belief, I was there in his arms, listening to his soft cooing, I didn’t want to listen any more. But my ears tuned into his voice just as the sweet and burning words

“I love you”

Sprung from them like dagger made of the softest silk, it seemed I would melt away and dissolve into the ground.

He was still there, I had forgotten I was alive for that moment and of course he was expecting a reaction. 

I looked into his green eyes the stung with poison tears, and it sent me to tears as well.

And I screamed into his neck loud violent screaming and cursing filled with confusion and lust. It hurt so bad I didn’t think I could feel like this after what seemed like ages I finally calmed enough to repeat a much anticipated and overly used phrase.

“I love you”

So what now, WHAT NOW, do we become lovers and hold hands at school or something, were we insane? I suddenly realized we were in a public park a couple of boys hugging and crying on each other would attract some unwanted attention.

 I broke free of his embrace and looked at him, what was supposed to happen now.

“Would you like to come back to my house” Billy offered seeing my uncertainty for words.

“What time is it?”

 “About half past four, why?”

“Well mum won’t want me out for too long”

“Its ok ill take you home at six?”

“Umm… sure”

Billy grabbed for my hand then as we stood up and walked towards the footpath.

But I quickly pulled away.

“What are you doing? Where’re in public I don’t exactly want to get bashed up” I scowled at him for being so careless about the fact it was my first relationship, and defiantly not the type I expected I didn’t want to rush things.

He let go and we walked side by side along the road, in silence, until I finally opened my mouth.

“Billy?”

“Yes?”

“What are we supposed to do now? Are we expecting it to be like a normal straight relationship?”

“Well I was trying to keep it like that you know, I believe back in our parents day we nearly would have been hung but hear we are 15 accepting ourselves for it”

“I know, I do love you, but can you blame me for the confusion I’m in right now”

“No, I understand”

He said as he opened the door to his house and we walked inside, I was surprised but the sight of it, Billy was so perfect I expected his whole life to be. Inside was messy with the lounge chair seeming to be second hand from the 1800’s the kitchen had plates stacked up since mold had grown, the roof was leaking in places, and the doors to the bedroom half falling off. Since in the privacy of the walls Billy held my hand again this time I didn’t want to break away, and he lead me over small messy piles of washing and things I didn’t look to find out exactly what.

“I’m sorry if you weren’t expecting this, I know it’s trashy but its all we can afford my aunty isn’t home much, always working, I‘ve never asked what she does, but I think I’ve always known”

“Oh” I said feeling a lump in my throat as I realized the how simple mine life is in comparison.

“It’s ok it’s not as bad as your thinking I’m quite happy here”

He said as he sat me down on his bed, well his mattress on the floor, which was covered in music magazines and school uniforms. He sat himself down rather close next to me and put his arm around me and lifted up one of my own to examine it. I was wearing an oversize black jumper with the band slipknot posing on the front. I felt glad I was wearing it because my skin was so white and was so thin, he probably would be disgusted by my unhealthy eating habits. I looked up at him pondering what his intentions with my arm were.

“You’re so thin” he whispered and ran his hand down my arm to put it in mine.

 “I am not” I argued smiling, because I knew it was true. “Sorry I’m not a real tuff man like you desire”

“Who said I liked tuff guys, I think your pretty” he looked down avoiding eye contact and smiled.

“Oh pretty like a girl, I though you liked boys ay?”

“I do your just really pretty in boy version”

“Ha!” I laughed at his attempt to take back his compliment gone wrong, I didn’t actually go wrong at all I thought to myself. I enjoyed his flattery it was more then I had gotten from a person my age, actually probably from anyone.

“I think you’re really handsome” I told him and quickly switched conversation to his magazines. “So like music?”

“Yeah everyone likes music I prefer slow indie music, where as I see you like metal”

“Not really” I explained “this was a present and I enjoy hiding under it.”

“Hiding under it? What have you got to hide?” he was pressing into something I didn’t want to tell him now, I thought I should leave, as I didn’t want to go any further tonight.

“Billy. I think I should go now, I feel I’ve intruded too much on you for our first night”

“Oh sure” he got up and walked me out the door of his house and down to the footpath and towards my house which was a few blocks away. He put a cautious arm around my waist then, knowing he couldn’t be sure how I would react as we were outside now. I smiled up at him in reassurance knowing it was dark we weren’t likely to run into any one from school.
“Shaant, I really like you”

“I know, I like you too” I finally admitted in an easy tone, this had been a long night I swear tomorrow it will feel to surreal.

We stopped outside my house and he pulled me out of site of the windows. Just near the hedge and pulled my into a tight hug that I reluctantly let myself sink into with my arms around his neck head on his shoulder the closeness of his body was a sensation I had never felt, it felt nice chest hard but comfortingly soft the grip on my waist was a little to close to my ass which made me shiver, Wow I thought to myself I must be dreaming a pretty sick dream, for this to be happening so fast. 

“Bye Shaant” he said sliding his hands up my back and bringing me closer to plant s kiss on my forehead, it was then I realized how red my cheeks could get. I’m sure he must be able to see my pale skin appear to turn sun burnt despite the darkness.

“Bye then Billy… tomorrow, will you still talk to me?”

“Of course silly, I wasn’t looking for a one night stand”

“Well you didn’t get one” I snapped back

He sighed and grinned at my quick response.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, ill meet you where we met today? …byeee”  he said this slowly trying to prolong the time we could spend together and knowing there was nothing else to do, his hand slipped far to quickly out of mine and he turned his back and walked back down the street. I stood there leaning against the hedge as he disappeared around the corner.

“I must be insane” I sighed to myself and climbed the steps to my front door which I opened to see my mum and dad had already eaten tea, so I heated my meal and went to my room to eat. Knowing I couldn’t stand the family conversation tonight my mind already felt like lead.

Sleep came quicker then I had expected that night. I woke the next morning questioning the events of today just as I had done yesterday.

As I entered the gates to school today I had a whole new feeling about my life, I had hopes of happiness, knowing this time I wouldn’t be sitting alone at lunch time.

The morning classes seemed to drift on forever I didn’t give a shit about whatever my math and science teachers were droning on about. Though finally the bell rang and I a little too hurriedly ran out of class towards my corner. Of course he wouldn’t be here yet considering the speed in which I got here. After not to long he did show up my heart nearly jumped right out of my rib cage when I saw him I wanted to leap into his arms and have him kiss me till I felt secure, I stepped forward eagerly knowing that’s all I could do in the public eye. He smiled and gestured for me to sit down; lucky my usual sitting corner was more or less secluded. 

He sat beside me close enough so I could feel his body mirror mine in sitting positions.

“Wont your friends ask where you are?” I questioned, knowing that this was a change for him.

“Nahh… my friends aren’t the caring braiding hair, friendship bracelet kind I can sit here all the time they wouldn’t notice that I have rejected them for someone far better”

“That’s good cause I don’t want you leaving” I complained as I unwrapped my sandwich from my rather dorky lunch box. He pulled out his lunch from a plastic bag and we sat in silence chewing, as I rested my head on his shoulder. I stared at his tight denim jeans that stuck to his thin stick legs that made him look stunning even though the blue school shirt accompanied them. I must have looked trashy in juxtaposition to a guy with beauty like a male model, with my pale face and black hair that rested on my shoulders hadn’t been brushed for weeks my tiny arms and legs, prominent rib cage

 That was hidden behind my baggy school shirt and my black jeans that were supposed to be tight but appeared baggy on me.

Lunch was over before it had begun, the whole day drifted that way, after school, I walked with him to the park and his house again, before he’d walk me home at about six. At his house he would compliment me and we would exchange hugs and I thought we were close to kissing before I pulled away, which I regret. This routine continued for close to a week.

Untill one afternoon when I saw him waiting at the gate as usual I bounded up to him and put a hand on my back and lead me to a place no one could see of hear us and he whispered in my ear, I’m not sure whether to make sure no one could hear us or he just like being close to me, I had to admit I preferred the second idea.

“Shaant baby, I found a really cool place on top of this hill its got a great view of the whole town no one ever goes up there so yunno, it would just be us two, and we would be in a place better my trashy shit hole of a house, what do you say?”

I giggled at the way he called me baby; he’d done it once before but it still made me feel hot. I looked up to his eyes returning the feeling he sent through me. And replied,

“I’d go anywhere with you I don’t care where, and I wouldn’t think id pay much attention to the scenery with you by my side anyway”   I hid my face after the lame compliment I gave him.  He just laughed and led me along our usual route home from school. We were almost at his house when we took a turn and hiked up the side of a hill that was covered in long grass and over powering weeds. I was terrible at anything slightly active, so he was behind constantly dragging me up with a firm hand on my back.

We finally reached a place too which I presumed Billy had spent a lot of time working on for a beauty like this seemed too good to be created naturally in a town like this         

I panted to catch my breath as Billy finally got up and stood next to me.

“Do you like it?” he said into my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist I jumped a little. Random affection was still something I needed to get used to. I stood there taking in the utter perfection of my surroundings of course it wasn’t what a normal eye would consider perfect but with Billy’s arms where they were and the freedom or being alone with no restraints. Right in front of me there was a pink tattered rug on the freshly mowed rectangle enough space for us to sit amongst the weeds and grass, on the rug was chocolate, lollies and fanta closely accompanied by contradictory wine glasses. I laughed at his maturity attempt then stared out across the busy town below us, cars, buses people all rushing all mindless to what it felt like to be in love.

I still hadn’t replied to Billy when he started kissing my shoulder through my t-shirt I giggled a bit, but hastily pulled away. Suddenly nervous to what his intentions with me were. I turned and faced him

“It’s my kind of perfection” I said gently. “You know how much I love you Billy but… I …I don’t want things to happen to quickly between us if you know what I mean… I’m scared you’re using me Billy”

“Oh boy, Shaant I didn’t mean to make you feel this way by bringing you up here…no way”

“But why do you love me?” I felt my voice tremble as the words id been asking inside, for ages slipped out without control.

“Because, you’re amazing do I need to say more, because you’re elegant and kind and always so shy and sincere, because I really have no control over the way I feel, understand that please, I’ve watched you ever since drama started feeling my heart beat in my throat when I saw you look at me.”

“You’re just good at charming me” I blushed as I sat and the rug and slipped my hand inside his as he sat down close to me.

“Don’t you trust me” his hot breath tickling my ear as he leant over to whisper.

“Well I do trust you, but I’m not sure I’m accustom to what happens in relationships I love you so much it wouldn’t seem right if you felt the same about me”

I was surprised by how easily he could bring my inner deepest feelings out of me.

“Shaant could you please stop fretting I would never hurt you that’s ….”

I cut him off with a kiss. Ahhh… this was what id been waiting for I was trembling all over as I parted my lips and he cupped my face with his hand trying to make me feel more secure, it wasn’t working his touch was making me all the more nervous, it was then he turned my head to the side gently and his tongue slipped inside I shouldn’t have done this but it was so nice I had to relax, his hands smoothed out my hair and I entwined my tongue with his. And then I broke away and gasped and stared into his eyes just for assurance. As soon as I looked into them I got scared, they weren’t filled with assurance like I was expecting they were filled with fear and repulsion, was I really that bad at kissing.

“Billy I’m sorry I thought you, you said you felt the same”

“Shaant baby, take my hand”

“What?”

“Quick now we have to run” his eyes never left the place behind my back, so I turned around he can’t have been serious he said no one comes up here. But sure enough I turned around staring face to face with one of Billy’s supposed mates Christian.

“Oh” was all I could mange, this guy had just caught to guys kissing I didn’t know what to expect, it could have gone either way.

“What is going on, I can’t believe this Billy, Shaant the wimpy kid, on my fucking hill fucking?” 

Well now I could definitely see which way it was going.

“Christian please have some heart in you I know you and the guys aren’t quiet as open minded as most but please, don’t hurt me or Shaant.”

“Hurt you, why would I hurt you?”

“Oh thank you Christian it means a lot to me, please don’t tell the others about this you know”

“Hahahaa!” Christians laugh was unexpected and startling we both looked up at him trying to see reason in his humor.

“Ha! You little faggots thought I could let you go without having some fun didn’t you?”  

“Huh?” Billy and I said in astonishment

“Soon the whole towns going to know about your little heated man on man pash”

“WHAT, Don’t please don’t Christian things are going really bad for me at the moment, me and Shaant don’t want to be source of laughter for the whole town.”

“Well I think it’s pretty funny and decides some comedy just might lighten the place up a bit!”

“You fucking son of a mother fucking bitch! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH AND ARSEHOLE ALL THE TIME? I can’t believe you I’ve never done one thing to you in your whole pathetic life and you find time to make mine and everyone else’s miserable…WHATS WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU TERRIBLY BORED OR SOMETHING”

Billy finally ended his extremely long rant and gasped for lost air, I was hiding behind him hoping for the best, his face was red with furry as he challenged Christian to a fight with every step he took closer to him, with every finger he pointed in his face, with every curse he swore upon his name. I tugged on Billy’s arm trying to drag him back from his dueling position Christian was almost twice Billy’s size and I wasn’t going to be wiping the blood away from his mouth.

“What do you think you’re doing freak step away from my face, unless you want it punched right in”

“OK GO AHEAD PUNCH MY FACE IN AND WREAK SOMETHING ELSE”

“WHY DON’T YOU JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BACK TO FUCKING YOUR FRIEND IN THE ARSE”

“DON’T YOU TALK THAT WAY, JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN’T GET ANY”

It seemed as Billy said that he had just spoken the never before spoken curse towards all men. Which finally fired up Christian up his face was going red as Billy’s face lost its redness in realization.

“Please Billy stop, stop we should just go well get through whatever happens, I don’t want any trouble with you Christian”

“IT’S TO LATE FOR THAT ISNT IT”

He screamed turning his vision to me and raising a threatening hand and swiped the back of it hard across my face I screamed in terror and agony as my neck cracked backwards sending violent shocks down my spine and through my body, as I put my hands out in front of me to brace my fall. I lied there on the rug now whimpering, waiting for the rest of this feud to end.

“FUCKIN ELL’ CHRISTIAN KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF SHAANT OR YOU’LL BE SORRY”

“Sorry? What would those tiny clenched fist do to put me in agonizing pain, I might get a little bruise, and then you’ll run home to your parents, Oh wait they don’t love you cause you’re a fag, and your aunty well I’m sure I could get some from her couldn’t I, Your pathetic Billy.” 

I looked up and felt my burning cheek and then stared up at Billy’s reaction to this derogatory statement. And saw the glistening tear find a trail down his cheek, and his face go red with more then anger, as he took a step even closer to Christians face making him step back seeing the effect he had, he took another and another watching Christian taking a step away taunting him. Billy mistook this as fear and felt tougher with each foot step. I picked myself up trying to tell Billy but he wasn’t listening to me he was listening to his thirst for revenge and raised his fist and swung for a punch hitting him fair in the nose, Christian groaned as blood spurted from his nostrils at a steady pace. Billy’s expression was one of shock and satisfaction. I could tell it wasn’t over though Christian raised a fist as big as my face and hit Billy’s jaw and a line of blood and spit shot from his mouth as he fell to the floor. It was then I really fucked things up, I was so upset at their pathetic masculinity attempts I rushed between them before Christian decided to finish the job.

“STOP IT, PLEASE YOUR BOTH HURT NOW STOP TRYING TO PROVE TO YOURSELVES HOW BIG YOU’RE DICK IS!!” Christian stared at me taking in what I said.

“Shut up little girl” he said in a sort of strain as he held his nose and approached me, my body shook what was he going to do to me to spite Billy. Like the little girl he called me, he took a handful of my hair and pulled my head back. I cried out and kept still trying not to hurt myself with a wrong move. But the pain was excruciating I had to get free so I raised my leg and kicked him hard in the balls it was a hard kick so he let  go and buckled and held the source of the pain, wincing as his foot slipped. And his eyes opened staring into mine as his foot slipped even further.

 “OH FUCK” I yelled this couldn’t happen. He was slipping off the side of the hill which descended in into a cliff with sharp rocks at the bottom providing the town’s barrier. I ran to grab his hand I wasn’t to far away but his fingers slipped out of mine as his pleading eyes stared into mine and the second half of his body was going over by this time I burned inside as I watched his entire body topple over. I was grasping at the air for his hand knowing that there wasn’t a way in the world I could bring him back up as his large body landed on a pile of rocks where he went limp all over. I was shocked this can’t be happening.

“SHIT, SHIT, SHIT … shit, shit, shit” I spewed inside leaning over the cliff just looking at him praying for movement. I had forgotten all about Billy until I heard him moan behind me. I needed his support at that moment he had to help me, think about what the fuck we were going to do now. I turned at looked at him as he shook his head to wake himself up some more, I ran beside him and grabbed his shoulders staring at him yelling cursing and crying. He was still dazed.

“Oh fuck Billy wake up” I shook him and he stared at me as I explained the disaster all in one breath. He just stared at me in disbelief waiting for me to pop out with something like

‘Jokes’ or ‘just kidding’ but more tears trickled down my face and he griped his head and put it between his knees and moaned in utter stress. I took him in my arms then and buried my face in his neck and cried harder then I had for ages, I knew it wouldn’t be the last time tonight either. Billy still wanted to see the truth for himself so he put his hand around my waist pulling me up with him and walked towards the edge of the cliff I stepped out of his grip, I was now terrified of that long drop after witnessing it. He stood there alone on the edge and fell on his knees seeing the site and began pulling his hair. Making noises of aggravation and distress.

“We should go down and check him perhaps there still hope” I whispered through my tears.

“Yeah, maybe that’s what we should do.” He stood up looking bruised and beaten, his perfection had slipped.  

We walked down the side disregarding the rug; the climb was a lot harder since we were weak from emotion and battle wounds. We jumped down the last bit of the hill and walked quick paced towards the side he landed and as the corner turned, I felt as if I couldn’t get closer, only yesterday I wouldn’t ever even known how to kill a man then for it to actually happen all by accident was a large burden placed upon my shoulders.

I stood near a tree shaking Billy said he would go and check the bloody scene and come back with the news.

I watched him as he approached the body checking for a pulse and listening for breathing then dragging the body from the rocks and laying him gently in the grass and examined his skull then lifted his hand which was covered in blood. I heard him scream and cry which send me into heaving sobs. It was my entire fault now I had even burdened the perfection of Billy with this I would probably go to jail with him and we would never see each other or our families again I wanted all just to go back to the kiss I shared before I committed man slaughter. Billy was now dragging the body into some near by bushes and gently placing flowers around him I’m not sure Christian was the flower type but Billy was being respectful after all we couldn’t drag the corpse of the boy I just killed home to his parents and leave it on there doorstep as a little surprise. I joked to myself failing to see the humor and crying harder. Billy had walked back and stood in front of me just staring at me blankly,