writers_loft | Introduction, concrit, and question!

Hi all. I happened across this community just tonight and have already found it useful. I love the character development parts. I never thought of "interviewing" my own characters. I started posting my responses to those in my journal.

I'm currently working on an urban fantasy graphic novel about werewolves. This is my first of the sort and I'm not on friendly terms with dialogue. My previous works were prose filled with imagery rather than speeches. Somehow, this decided that it wanted to be illustrated rather than written. I don't disagree because I am surrounded by artists for friends and I can ink very well, also. Still, my conversations fail at being natural. If anyone has any useful tips on making them more believable, I'd really appreciate it.

I've opened the first five scenes of dialogue to the public in my journal. After stepping back from it for a few days, I realized how incredibly horrid it really was. I plan on re-doing it and I see so many mistakes already. I have some changes in a fresh copy, but I'd like to get some constructive critism on those few scenes. I'd really appreciate any thoughts you all have. Thank you!

http://cursedbyartemis.livejournal.com/1683.html

(And please feel free to browse the rest of my journal, as it is soley dedicated to this particular unnamed project)