Dead Boyfriend

[jupiterrhode.livejournal.com]

Title: Dead Boyfriend
Rating: Chapter One, PG-13. Overall, NC-17
Warnings: swearing, violence, and gay sex (though not in Chapter One)
Summary: Regan St. James is just your typical eighteen-year-old vampire hunter. He enjoys sharp objects and random hook-ups. But one night, in a quiet little mountain college town, he meets a guy named Ira who just might change his life. If he can survive Ira's relatives, of course.

( A vampire. A vampire Hunter. Simple? You've no idea. )

This is a story I started just for fun after all my attempts at writing books crapped out. It's also an attempt at subverting some of the cliches of the vampire romance genre. I'm curious as to what people think of it. All comments and constructive criticisms are welcome. Also, what do you think of the site design? It's a work in progress.

Comments

[awriter12.livejournal.com]

I really like it so far (in other words thats a nice way of saying WRITE MORE I WANT TO READ) *ahem*
You're character is cute, seems to have a definite personality to him.
^_^

[jupiterrhode.livejournal.com]

Hey, sorry I haven't replied. For some reason these didn't show up in my inbox. Anyway, glad you like it. Don't know if you've been following but there's two more chapters up now.

I'm trying to be constructive, I promise.

[acharmedlife.livejournal.com]

I like the name "Regan St. James" but I'm not so sure that I like Regan himself. Is he another cocky, sexy, vampire hunter who knows he's hot and likes to get down and dirty every now and again? I say it not to be rude, but just because that type of character is so overdone, so you have to be careful. You said you'd like to subvert cliches, and yet Regan seems to be one... unless by "subvert" you mean more like "make light of"?

There are a few editing nitpicks in there, but other than that, it has potential. I'd like to know what the problem is in the story - you know, the thing that the tale hinges upon. Who is Ira, and what does he mean for Regan...

Re: I'm trying to be constructive, I promise.

[jupiterrhode.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't think you're rude at all. And anyway, I'd rather have your honest opinion. To answer your question, Regan is an only child. The bratty edge to his confidence I'm trying to show as more like childhood arrogance than any real cockiness. Cockiness, to me, has a slightly malicious connotation that Regan doesn't possess.

And don't feel like you have to hold back on the editing nitpicks. Again, I rather know.