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Mar. 30th, 2009 10:19 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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writers_loftTitle: Untitled
Rating: R for sex and cursing
Summary: none yet, don't really have a plot haha. Just a MC named Lux Katenka going through a hard time in her life. Her mother is dying of cancer.
Word count: 1,842 (2 chapters)
Chapter One
The fact that Lux Katenka only knew Max’s first name didn’t deter her when he clasped her hand in his as she followed him to the back room of Lucky, the all male strip club.
The music pulsed and pounded almost in time with the multi-colored lights that flitted over the stages and the rest of the club.
Another dancer was on stage, but Lux only had eyes for Max.
Lux surveyed Max from behind as she trailed after him; admiring the way his taut ass flexed and released under his tight black boxer-briefs. Her gaze slid up his deeply tanned back to get another look at the wings etched in black across its entire muscled expanse.
Max pulled aside a curtain in the VIP room and gestured her inside, a smirk on his boyish face.
Lux followed his lead and walked past him, her hips swaying back and forth above her thigh-high black boots.
His cerulean gaze drank in her lithe form in is encasement of black short shorts and black halter with its deep v. Max let his eyes linger on the very generous milky pale cleavage between the v and then he looked into her sea green eyes.
A twinkle of mischief showed in those eyes and she moved to sit in the large overstuffed armchair shoved in the corner of the tiny triangle of space. She crossed her long legs and leaned back to await his next move.
He chuckled softly and ran a hand through his long dark locks, knowing the movement stretched out his chest and the rippled plane of his abs.
Lux bit her red painted lower lip and watched in appreciation.
He clicked on a timed light right outside the room and closed the curtain. Then he sauntered towards her, a hungry look in his eyes.
Lux stayed still even though every part of her wanted to go to him.
Feel free to comment and critique this section.
If you're interested to read the rest just friend me.
Rating: R for sex and cursing
Summary: none yet, don't really have a plot haha. Just a MC named Lux Katenka going through a hard time in her life. Her mother is dying of cancer.
Word count: 1,842 (2 chapters)
Chapter One
The fact that Lux Katenka only knew Max’s first name didn’t deter her when he clasped her hand in his as she followed him to the back room of Lucky, the all male strip club.
The music pulsed and pounded almost in time with the multi-colored lights that flitted over the stages and the rest of the club.
Another dancer was on stage, but Lux only had eyes for Max.
Lux surveyed Max from behind as she trailed after him; admiring the way his taut ass flexed and released under his tight black boxer-briefs. Her gaze slid up his deeply tanned back to get another look at the wings etched in black across its entire muscled expanse.
Max pulled aside a curtain in the VIP room and gestured her inside, a smirk on his boyish face.
Lux followed his lead and walked past him, her hips swaying back and forth above her thigh-high black boots.
His cerulean gaze drank in her lithe form in is encasement of black short shorts and black halter with its deep v. Max let his eyes linger on the very generous milky pale cleavage between the v and then he looked into her sea green eyes.
A twinkle of mischief showed in those eyes and she moved to sit in the large overstuffed armchair shoved in the corner of the tiny triangle of space. She crossed her long legs and leaned back to await his next move.
He chuckled softly and ran a hand through his long dark locks, knowing the movement stretched out his chest and the rippled plane of his abs.
Lux bit her red painted lower lip and watched in appreciation.
He clicked on a timed light right outside the room and closed the curtain. Then he sauntered towards her, a hungry look in his eyes.
Lux stayed still even though every part of her wanted to go to him.
Feel free to comment and critique this section.
If you're interested to read the rest just friend me.
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no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 03:09 am (UTC)1. Use adjectives sparingly. They break the forward motion of your story, slow things down.
2. Pick a POV and stick with it. When you head hop from one character to another, you lose force in the story and it's distracting to know what both characters are thinking.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 04:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 01:32 pm (UTC)Like... the scene in the kitchen is from Lux's POV, but the scene in the lounge is from Max's. (Change scenery as appropriate/needed.)
Good luck.
no subject
Date: 2009-03-31 04:16 pm (UTC)And thanks! ^_^