Comments needed! =)

[quicksilver-47.livejournal.com]

Please comment on the two articles I have posted here. I need feedback, and will be glad to know of your thoughts.
Thanks!
=)

Comments

[mari-mac1109.livejournal.com]

You really don't need to make another post asking for feedback. If people are going to comment on your work, they will. In fact, it's actually kind of spammy to make a post like this.

For future reference, you can also put both works in one post, if the character limit isn't too high by LJ standards. If the posts are that long, linking from posts you've made to your personal journal is a-okay.

[quicksilver-47.livejournal.com]

Alright. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks anyway. =)

[clawfoot.livejournal.com]

It also may help to tell us what the context for the pieces are, what these were written for, and who the intended audience is. The first one, for example, works really well as ad copy for a charity, but as a stand-alone short story comes off as kind of preachy and self-important.

Are these for an assignment? Are they stand-alone fiction? What is their purpose?

[quicksilver-47.livejournal.com]

They're made as feature articles for our school paper. I guess you could say that the high-school body, as well as the other factions of our community are the intended audience.