writers_loft | Entries tagged with writing

magickeyboard.livejournal.com

Using the comments everyone gave me on the chapter I posted I've done some edits to try and improve it and would love some more feedback on how succesful or not succesful I was in that regard. I definitely appreciated all of the reviews I recieved the first time. :-)

So here's the edited chapter posted on my journal:

Day in the Life

Current Mood: working
Current Location: Cubicle Land

rosalinda-143.livejournal.com

I've taken everyone's adivce into consideration. The problem is I want some things to unfold during to story so you feel like you are part of the story. And I've probably written like what? 10, 11 chapters already, but I still don't know what to do for a prologue. Now some of you said I shouldn't have one... I thought about that, I felt like I needed one, just for some reason. But my point is I had a brainstorm last night and I wanted to see what you guys thought of my new prologue. When I pictured it though I kind of pictured it in movie form but I think it still works when on paper... anyhoo tell me what you think of my new and (hopefully) improved prologue.

Status report:
Name: Classified a.k.a. Agent 99 a.k.a. Mae Waterfall
Eye Color: Sapphire Blue
Current Eye Color: Violet
Hair: Back long, thick, and wavy in between milk chocolate and dark chocolate colored hair
Current Hair: Long, strait, chocolate brown
Body Figure: Slender, and rounded
Height: 5” 4’
Other Appearances: Soft, heart shaped face, almond shaped eyes, pointed nose and thin lips
Personality: Kind, funny, always smiling, tough, independent, a leader
Special Abilities: Photographic Memory, sixth sense a.k.a. E.S.P
Agency: Rose Thorn
Age: 16 a.k.a. 18
Location: Evergreen, Colorado
Address: Classified

Status Report:
Name: Eric Jay Knight
Eye color: Emerald Green
Hair: Black, short, kind of cropped, but wavy
Body Figure: Gangly, medium built
Height: 6” 5’
Other Appearances: Oval shaped face, rounded eyes, strait nose, and full lips
Personality: Fierce, loving, a leader stands up for what’s right, serious in his work
Vampire Power: Learns (the other vampires fighting technique) and uses it against them, and can heal (but it’s a slow process; the pain always gets worse before it gets better, and the person always falls asleep afterward. *Can be improved*)
Agency: Night Watchers (lower class)
Current Age: 18
Real Age: Unknown
Location: Wilsonville, Oregon
Address: Classified

It's a little sketchy 'cause I just thought of it last night, but I was thinking, I could update you guys like this througout the story.

I'd really like some constructive critisism, if you will... again. I'd appreciate it.

Thanks again!

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Location: Lair

rosalinda-143.livejournal.com

Hey, everyone, I'm new here and I just wanted to ask you.., if you could tell me how you like my prologue, I'd like that very much. And since I don't know how to create a link, I'll just post my prologue on this post. So read it, tell me what you think of it, and give me suggetions.

Here it is:

I’m not normal and never will be. I work for a secret agency called Rose Thorn. They teach people as young as 13 and even blind people. They train them to fight, how to improvise, you name it: the martial arts, how to change your appearance in less than a minute, how to handle the pain of getting shot or just hurt in general.
Right now I’m their only agent that has photographic memory. And I started when I was 10 for reasons unknown. I was told my parents died in a car crash in the Rockies and that I didn’t have any other relatives to live with. So they said I could live with foster parents or my ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ and their daughter or my ‘cousin.’
All my life I’ve been living a big fat lie and I hated it. No one ever understood me, because I’ve had more than 100 alter egos. My life was orderly, and simple until I met this one guy who would throw my world into chaos and confusion, the one guy who made me lost in my own life, the one guy who would change my view of the world forever.
The one guy whom I loved so much… it hurt.

So what do you think?

Current Mood: nervous
Current Location: Lair

magickeyboard.livejournal.com

Hello again. I started writing a story about two months ago that has now reached 161 pages, at least five times as long as anything else I've ever written, and I can actually see the end of it and I'm very excited but very nervous about quality. It's in first person which I've never done before and it took me a while to get over the urge to go back and change everything to third person past tense which is what I usually write in.

Anyways, I want to post the first/second chapter (depending on if I make the first chapter a prologue instead) here and ask for critiques. Comments/Edits on grammar or content are both welcome and encouraged and I promise I'm good at taking criticism just ask my current group of readers as they love to tell me when I write something stupid ;-)

So here it is, the first, or maybe second, chapter of Perfect Imperfection (title still up for debate) a contemporary fiction novel with a bit of a scifi (not aliens or spaceships) twist. If you enjoy it you can find the first chapter/prologue at my journal here.

( Day in the Life )

Current Mood: bouncy

hizashi-ryunuka.livejournal.com

Put away the pitchforks, I'm pretty sure I'm human, and if not, then just pretend, I don't feel like mustering up the energy to be scary. Obviously I'm new so as a form of introduction I'll let my writing do the talking...I'm sure there are many things wrong with that sentence in many ways, but anyways:

( Grey )

Hope you enjoy, constructive criticism is always appreciated.

sara-nade.livejournal.com

Hi there guys. I'm Sara. I've been in the community for a few months now, but never really posted anything because I'm a college student and was pretty busy with school. Anyway, I've been writing this story for several months now, here and there. And now, it's become something of a novel. I'm on 28,000 + words, nowhere close to finished. But, I got some of my friends to read it, and they say it has potential. I love my characters and the storyline, so I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE for some other people, maybe people in the community to read this first chapter. I will post more chapters or whatever else, but I just need some feedback. SO, if anyone has some spare time, that'd be awesome. THANKS!

WAVES OF MERCY

A/N: So, I've been writing this crazy random story for a while, and I wanted to post it on here to get some opinions and exposure. A few of my RL friends have begun reading it, and they quote "can't get enough," so I thought it might be good to throw it up here, too. There's already 7 chapters, but the plotline is a bit iffy as of late.

Summary: Mercedes Williams has been through a lot in her short life, but unorthodox coping mechanisms and her friends have helped her through. Despite being 22 years old, she can't seem to get over the happenings of her past, and looks at herself as a scared, no, terrified, little girl. As she struggles to do the large amount of growing up she still has to do, can she get over the events from her past, as well as what events plague her future?

Rating: for mature readers, i'd say. (lots of swear words. ha.)

Chapter 1: Hello, I'm the Murderer you've been looking for.

Preview:

“So, what’s the problem, Miss Benz?” he asked. Ah, the adorable nickname he had bestowed on me. I had never really liked my name until Rich had decided, that he would call me Miss Benz, because with a name like Mercedes, why the hell not, right? He reached into my bag, pulling out my pack of smokes at his own liberty. I smiled. How could he always tell when something was wrong?
“Nothing.” Everything. My entire life is one big mistake. I can’t stop thinking of mom, and I can’t stop cutting myself when I think of her. Pretty soon, you’ll be reading my obituary. Oh, I also have the biggest test of my career in about 3 hours, and I’m nowhere near ready.

“I’m just…tired,” I sighed and glanced sideways towards his face

vist my lj here to read: (http://sara-nade.livejournal.com/2824.html#cutid1)

Current Mood: lethargic

panda-god.livejournal.com

Title: Dying to Live
Genre: Horror/Action/Macabre/Zombie
Word Count: 2717
Warnings: Blood, rotting corpses, a dude on the edge.

Summary: Takes place a year into a world-wide zombie outbreak. A day in the life of Frederick Scott, Los Angeles outbreak survivor.

Notes: Well, firstly, this is the final project in a creative writing class I've taken. Secondly, this is unbeta'd, as I don't have a beta. Thirdly, please, do not hesitate to point out typos/errors. Fourthly, please enjoy yourselves!

Follow Ze Fake Cut to My Writing Journal!

rip-the-tide.livejournal.com

So, I have this screen play I've been writing for script frenzy (google it), but I don't know what should happen next. I'm not even really sure what's going on currently, but there you have it.

( Share ideas pls? )

kombinant.livejournal.com

Hello I'm new here and I thought that i might as well just jump in! The story I'm currently working on is an epistle, or a series of letters, that was written in response to a challenge in my high school's writing club...

888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

Dear Father, Mother, Jimmy, James, Jonathan, Julie, Juliet, Young Jonathan, Aunt Kathy, Uncle Kyle, Aunt Marie, Uncle Matt, Cousin Kevin, Cousin Mark, Other Cousin Jonathan, Grandpa, Grandma, great Aunt Agatha, and 3^rd Cousin Nathaniel;

How are you? I am fine. As you know, I have recently decided that I needed to go to Canada. Migratory instincts, I guess. Having only left a week ago from our home in Florida, I am pleased to say that I have arrived in Georgia. I know that you question the wisdom of walking to Canada, but you must understand the sense of tranquility and calm I have never felt at home. Perhaps this feeling can only be achieved by migrating at least once in your life.

Father, I have stayed away from the roads as you asked, and I’m glad to say because of it I have seen lots of wildlife I never would have seen near a road.

Young Jonathan, you can be proud for I have chosen your gift first. Remember that I intend to bring you all something special home. Now I don’t want to ruin the tension you will feel waiting for this, but I feel you deserve a hint to what it may be. I can tell you that our Other Cousin would kill for it.

I have met a friend already. When I was walking through the woods I stumbled into a Marines base right as the final graduation was taking place. I met a young Marine there by the name of Dillon. Now Dillon always had this dream of flying, as he’s been telling me, and he would like to go to Canada and get his pilot’s license. Now, I’m not sure why he hasn’t just gotten here in the States, but…

I have been hoping for a companion on my trip and perhaps this Dillon will be a good one, If not maybe he can save me from muggers, that is if he decides to come with me....

Now to everyone I have been neglecting, I must say this. I believe that this is the greatest adventure of my life and as such I may come back changed. I promise to write you all again, and everyone, not just my siblings, is getting a souvenir. I’ll stop writing now; hopefully Grandma and Grandpa haven’t been snoring too loudly!

With love,

Alexander
Mallard

Aka Ducky

Current Mood: curious
Current Location: home

forkandspoon00.livejournal.com

Hi, this is my very first post here. Soon, I will start posting a story I've been working on for awhile now on my personal account. It's called 'In the End'. It's a contemporary fantasy/ supernatural/drama. I would greatly enjoy it if anyone took the time to read it when it gets posted (which will hopefully be soon).

plum-newtype.livejournal.com

( Dear, fellow writer; I need your help. )

Current Mood: hopeful

jinkang.livejournal.com

I was reading up a novel and realized the author lives in my home town. And that's because I recognized the streets and some of the buildings he described. It was done well, but I realized I walked the streets that the main characters were walking.

Now, when this happens, do you find the fiction you were reading somehow less real or more real?

Because sometimes, when I read, I am immersed in the fictional world and rather not be reminded of the reality. Some other times, I realize such things build realism, because they are in fact based on the real world geography.

By the way, I don't mean by really famous places like Eiffel tower or Swiss Alps, or Machu Pichu. (personally only been to two from the list), but more of some random streets or a neat side street that only 'local' people would know.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: fridge humming

jinkang.livejournal.com

I usually try to be careful but it seems there is something fundamentally wrong in my brain. I suppose verbal and online messages put less emphasis on correct grammar, for better or worse, so I don't notice them on daily basis. At least, I haven't been chased by a grammar nazis on the street, as of yet.

Writing, obviously, is a different medium. I have taken grammar courses at school, after school, and even at home. I even read several grammar books for pleasure. Perhaps, pleasure is a bit far fetched.

Last year, I took a course at a continuing education program and got 90%. (This was a summer session, by the way. 40+ hours long) The mark doesn't mean much but the instructor thought I was doing alright. So I rekindled a tiny hope.

Alas, why is it that I can't seem to communicate with my readers? How bad is my grammar? Let's say it's bad enough to confuses readers and make them want to stop reading after page 2. That's on a short story with probably only few more pages to go.

If anyone had a serious issues with grammar, and overcame it, I'd like to know how you did it. Thanks.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Walking on Memphis

magaly-guerrero.livejournal.com

Hi Guys, Linsey McGur posted Take My Advise on Samhain Weblog. I found it very useful, take a look.

Magaly

ruisswolf.livejournal.com

My muse woke me this morning, frisky as a young calf. She raced about, kicking her heels and bouncing, bunting me with her head. She was quite insistent. "Wake up, lazyhead!" "Get out of bed!" "Move it, babe!" She shoved me out of the bed, half awake and stumbling. I glance at the clock and groan. It's 6:32 am. I've slept 7 hours, maybe less, and my muse wants me to write.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: happy
Current Location: my writing desk

spiritualcoma.livejournal.com

New to LJ (please excuse any errors), and hoping the online thing will help a little with the book I am writing. I am currently trying a different opening to the story and would like some feedback as to what you all think. Please go easy with the red ink as I already know I suck at grammer lol. Thanks.

( Read more... )

Wiping the steam from the glass, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Questions filled my mind for the man staring back at me. What is happening to me? Am I having a mid-life crisis? Is it a nervious breakdown? Why am I suddenly loosing my mind? How come I feel my will to live slowly draining away?...

Current Mood: curious

aeriedraconia.livejournal.com

The summary

Note: This is a general observation and is not intended to single out any person, community, group or genre.

Have you ever noticed that some posted chapters or snippets receive more attention than others do? It may be due to presentation or lack thereof.
I've observed in many communities and individual blogs that the posts with no intro or summary or posts with rambling, vague or dull summaries can be less successful in drawing in readers and eliciting reader response than the posts with intros and summaries that shine. So, how do you entice readers with your intro or summary? What makes a good summary?

What is a summary?
n. A usually brief restatement of the main points or facts.

What is the purpose of a summary?
The purpose of a summary is to tell the reader what happens in a brief and concise fashion, condensing and paraphrasing the original text into a short highlight of the main points. It will give the reader the gist of the text but it will not get into the minute details, you will leave the details for the reader to discover as they read your work.

The summary is your first impression so you will want to make it interesting enough so people will want to read your work, a good summary will make people want to read your stuff and a bad one may make them pass you by. Yes, writing a summary can be harder than you think so don't be afraid to spend some time on it.

Note: A summary is not quite the same thing as a synopsis, which is what you present to agents and publishers.

~~~~

As a potential reader, what do you want to see in an intro or summary? What will draw you in and make you look behind the cut? What turns you off?

~~~~

If anyone would like to work shop his or her summary, synopsis or query letter, go ahead and make your own new post. You could ask, "Would you Keep Reading?" Please state if it is a summary, synopsis or query.

aeriedraconia.livejournal.com

Most publishers do not want previously published works, they want the first rights to your work. What is considered published? Can you post your work on line and still call it unpublished?

This article by Georgianna Hancock talks a little bit about what is considered published and what isn't.

http://www.writers-edge.info/2007/12/is-your-writing-published-or-not.htm

aeriedraconia.livejournal.com

I've had a bit of a think on this and I'd like to expand on the writing emotion and writing character emotion food for thought exercise.

Let's use Anger once more because it is a common and powerful emotion. There are lots of different kinds of anger. There's outrage, pettishness, cranky, righteous, offended, violent, rage...you get the idea.

( The Rest Of It )

Current Mood: angry (not really)

aeriedraconia.livejournal.com

I came across this list about writing and writerliness. In this list are things that I have heard from many sources, pros and amatuers alike, but I still need to be reminded every now and again because I do not do as I should.

( The List )

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For Writers of Original Fiction

January 2018

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For Writers of Original Fiction

Entries tagged with writing

Edited Chapter

I changed my Prologue

I'm new here...

Chapter for Comments and Critique

New person ho

Story I've been working on for forever now...

[Fiction] "Dying to Live" - Rated R - Horror/Macabre

help with what happens next...

(no subject)

New User

Looking for partners! [scriptwritting/movie writing project]

Question: Using real locale

Question: Grammar issues, any tips?

Linsey McGur's Advice for Writers

Who is my God?

Newbie hoping for feedback

Writing Summaries

Is Posting Your Work On Line Considered Publishing Your Work?

Writing Emotion

Wise Words

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January 2018

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